Baby Fields

It's okay if your brain can't hear! At least that's what the insurnace company seems to think.

2012-02-10T15:34:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I got a phone call from the center where Sarah Hazel has been receiving therapy letting me know that insurance has been denying every claim and that we now owe well over $4,000. They told me that they had been going back and forth with the insurance company for awhile now but every time, the claim comes back with a denial and a request for more information proving why this therapy is a medical necessity. I guess the fact that her expressive language score equivalency of 2 years 1 month at 3 years 10 months wasn't enough to raise a red flag for the insurance company's medical team. Nor do they seem to be alarmed by phrases like "significant disparity", "episodes of dysfluency", "auditory perception and processing problems", "expressive language deficit", "significant deficit in auditory perceptual and linguistic development", and "should receive intensive speech pathology treatment". Apparently the insurance company doesn't see the importance in helping a child who has a language disorder that impacts her daily life.

It took me until today to get my mind back in order to be able to call the bad guys (aka United Healthcare) and duke it out. They told me the same thing they have been telling our therapy center, they need proof of medical necessity. Unless she has brain damage from trauma or stroke or a congenital anomaly, she does not qualify. Does this seem absurd to anyone else or is it just me?

I feel like the therapy center and the insurance company are chasing each others tails and I'm caught in the middle of the circle with no way out. Insurance claims that they do not have evaluations or treatment notes. The therapy center says they have sent them repeatedly. The therapy center told me in one of her earliest appointments that insurance said coverage was 100% but then insurance came back and decided that this would no longer be the case and instead coverage was now 0%. I'm confused. The only thing I can do at this point is to prove that my child is brain damaged or was born with a language disorder. There is no way I can prove any of that and the insurance company knows it.

This is all a big mess and I am out of ideas of how to fix it. I haven't told Sarah Hazel that she doesn't get to go back to therapy. She is going to be heartbroken.

The Mission

2012-02-09T15:29:00.000-05:00

After having a post that goes kind of viral and becomes your top post of all time, you are left with the pressure of feeling like you have to write another post to keep the attention and momentum going. My post, I know you hate hearing about my gifted kid is by far my most read post in the entire 5 years that I have had this blog. The post got a few comments but nothing close to the number of hits my blog received after writing that. Here's the deal though, this blog isn't just about giftedness nor is it just about Autism or SPD or all that other stuff I ramble about from time to time. It's simply just a reflection of our life. I started all of this as a way to keep family and close friends up to date on my first pregnancy. I found that the longer I continued to keep up this blog, the more I wanted to share private details about our journey. As we became a special needs family, my audience changed from people I actually know in real life, to virtual friends who are also on the path less taken. These people have become my support group and at times my sanity.

I don't make a great effort to gain readers though I've been in the blogging world long enough to know how to do it (I've actually been blogging since 1998!) Instead, my readers generally find me through other readers who are connected to this blog because of Autism or SPD,etc.... or via Google searches. I don't really care about numbers or popularity. I'll be honest though, when that one blog post gained that much attention, I thought to myself, "Hey, you could really do something with this gifted angle and capture a ton of new readers". Then I realized I would only be gaining readers by pushing out the ones I already have. The ones who have been beside me through every part of this craziness. The ones who have become my Facebook friends, email buddies, and Words With Friends Players. They care about all the details of my kids and not just one piece of the puzzle. We pray for each other through our kids struggles, we email questions back and forth about development, we share ideas for therapy tools or home preschool. I've realized over time that my blog has become a way to reach out to parents struggling to find answers or for other parents who just want someone to talk too about similar issues they are seeing in their child. I don't want to jeopardize that by switching things up and focusing on one topic. This blog is about me...about us and that's how I plan to keep it.

I can't write this and not give a big shout out to Alicia, Christy, Jess, Karla, Kimberly, Lana, Lizbeth, and Megan for being the best bloggy friends that a girl can have. Now if I could just get them all in one place and have a big ole party!

An Update on Cameron's Mystery Illness

2012-02-08T17:33:00.002-05:00

I finally found a spare minute to post thanks to a dear friend who brought over dinner and saved me from cooking or going out to grab yet another fast food meal. Many of you who follow my personal Facebook account are probably aware that Cameron has been sick. Very sick. It all started a couple weeks ago with what we thought was the tummy bug that's been going around. I called the pediatrician and she said to keep him home and push fluids.Within a few hours he was fine so we figured he must have gotten the 24 hour version. Almost an entire week later he got sick again but this time he was at school playing happily when it hit. The symptoms were identical to the first sickness: copious vomit and explosive watery diarrhea (sorry for the TMI). He threw up several times on the way home and a few more times once at home. Within 12 hours he was fine, happy, playful. A couple days later, I thought to myself that Cameron was looking really bad with his sunken dark eyes and pale skin. A few hours later, he had another violent attack. Monday morning he had another bad one that we felt warranted an ER visit with lab tests. That afternoon we came home from the hospital without answers but with instructions to call the pediatrician when the next attack happened and she would then tell us what the next step is. It's been 48 hours so we know that unless this thing has just magically disappeared, then another violent episode cannot be too far off. I have the towels out to let him throw up on and towels in the car for the next ride when we have to get him more medical attention. I hate this. Whatever is in my baby's body needs to get out and stay out.

I know you hate hearing about my gifted child, but there are some things I want you to know.

2012-02-05T15:57:00.001-05:00

The purpose of my blog is to share with you the trials and triumphs we experience as a family with children who have special needs. Typically I focus on the ones that are most obviously associated with my kids- like Autism, SPD, Pediatric Feeding Disorder, and speech and language disorders, but there is another need that my children have. While being gifted is a different type of special need than the ones I listed above, it is one that affects us daily and requires heavy modification in our parenting style and the choices we make for our children's education. It is my hope that you will read this with an open heart and mind and come away with a better understanding of what the word gifted really means.

A few days ago, an article titled "I Hate Hearing About Your Gifted Child" came across my Facebook feed via some gifted group pages I follow. I was afraid of what I might find but followed the link anyways. I wish I hadn't. What I found was an article written by a mom who was bitter that she does not have a gifted child. She noted that her child was very kind but instead of loving this child for her caring spirit, she lamented that her daughter wasn't gifted and how that made her hate hearing about children who were. At least that is what I got out of. First off, I was hurt by the article. Secondly, I felt sorry for her daughter because it sounds as if her mom isn't as proud of her as she should be. Lastly, I was angered that this article just added more anti-gifted crap to the Internet.

I've had a few days to think about what was written and had hoped that I would just be able to forget about it. Instead, it has made me feel an even deeper amount of pride for my children than I did before. It also has made me realize that I am sick and tired of keeping it under wraps from the world outside of this blog, the fact that both, yes both, of my children are gifted. I should not have to keep it under wraps like a deep dark dirty secret so that I don't upset bitter and misinformed people, like the one who wrote the aforementioned article. No I don't brag to make other parents feel bad, and don't intend too, but if a mom says how proud she is that her daughter is reading 3 levels above her grade then why can't I voice my children's accomplishments as well?

Even now, I feel guilty about writing this post. What if I offend someone? What if they think I am bragging? What if they are thinking to themselves, shut up about how smart your kids are already? What if they don't believe me because after all, all mom's think they have the smartest kid in the whole world. What if they think there is no such thing as gifted or that all children are gifted? No mom should ever have to feel like this or censor reality for fear of what other people think.

I'll admit, when the psychologist said things like "exceptional", "gifted", and "psychologists wait their whole careers to see a child like this", I was a little giddy with excitement. My excitement was short lived as he went on to explain that at the level my child scored, it can also be a disability. He might as well have just said "You have a little genius on your hands BUT because of this, she won't be able to function in a normal world." It didn't take long for me to figure out why he wanted me to understand that this would not be an easy journey. First off, the whole reason our child was tested was because we took her in for a behavioral evaluation. We expected to come away with a diagnosis of Aspergers, ADHD, or OCD....anything but gifted. We found out that all of those behaviors that were a bit similar to other disorders were actually connected to high IQ. We also found out that learning disabilities are quite common in the gifted population as is anxiety and depression. As I have learned more and more about giftedness, words jump out at me like "high school dropout", "bullying", and *gulp* "suicide". These are all things that are in the high risk category for the gifted population.

My kids are not even school age yet but the issues that often go along with being gifted are already a reality in our home. They have what is known in the gifted world, as Dabrowski's Over-Excitabilities, meaning they have difficulty with sleep, sensory processing issues, handling emotions, and hyperactivity all to the point that it impacts their daily life. Sarah Hazel has an incredibly intense imagination that makes it hard for her to differentiate between dreams and reality, resulting in night terrors that have lasted for hours. She also has an early diagnosis of Auditory Processing Disorder which makes it hard for her to listen to stories being read aloud in group settings or listen to directions given by teachers. While Auditory Processing isn't a by-product of being gifted, it is one of the common learning disabilities that often goes along with it. Sarah Hazel also is a deep thinker and very emotional. Sad songs, movie endings, stray animals, hurt children, natural disasters are just some of the things she becomes overly concerned and connected with to the point of it causing her to become depressed if she doesn't see a happy ending in sight. Then there is our other child who is possibly gifted at an even higher level. Cameron began reading at the age of 15 months and now at the age of 2.5, is decoding words at over a 4th grade level. While that may sound "cool", I don't want my son reading words that will require explanations that he is not yet mature enough for. Cameron's Autism already makes it hard enough for him to relate to people, being gifted just puts him that much further away from the norm.

Then there's school. I have no idea what we are going to do but it's looking like a typical classroom isn't going to meet my kids needs (and this isn't just my opinion but also opinions of professionals working closely with them). Both of my kids will require a small class size in order to cope with their sensory issues and learning disabilities. They will both likely require even further differentiation if not also acceleration that will allow them to work at their current level. They already have requirements that make them stick out like a sore thumb before they've entered the door.

I tell you all of this, not to get sympathy, but for you to understand that being gifted comes along with price and that in no way does it mean success. I think what many parents of gifted children wish others knew is that gifted is not the same as high achieving. It's also not the same as prodigy or savant. Gifted is a different way of thinking and isn't something that can be acquired. Another reason I am sharing this with you is because I want you to understand that if I share something my child did, I'm not trying to compare or make you feel bad. This is who my kids are and this is what our normal is. They have a lot of hurdles in their way, please don't add another one by not accepting and appreciating them for who they really are.

Organized or Else!

2012-02-02T12:55:00.000-05:00

I rarely take Cameron to the grocery store with me. Today was one of those days when I had no choice but to take him since the situation was either go buy groceries now or eat another fast food lunch and dinner. Sarah Hazel is at Nana's so it makes it a little easier to just have one child to entertain while I shop. Upon arrival, he flips out about the buggy (or cart for those of you not in the South). He doesn't want to sit in the front but after much coaxing he decides to sit in the back. I know it's a safety hazard to ride in the back but sometimes you do whatever it take to prevent a full out wailing flailing meltdown. I also know he looks pretty silly sucking on a heart printed paci and playing a pink and purple Mobigo but once again it's one of those times you do what you gotta do to keep the peace. After all, Moms of special needs kids have to shop for groceries too. As I load the buggy up, he begins to get excited about the incoming items and decides to arrange them all. He became very fond of a head of lettuce and held onto it tightly until he swapped it out for a can of Pringles to shake. One lady even commented on what a nice little boy he is. He really was being good as long as I did not mess up his grocery arranging. Then we got to the checkout. He helped me load everything on the conveyer belt. Still happy. Then all the groceries magically appear in bags. Not happy. Much to his dismay, I put all the bags in the buggy but of course he started pulling the groceries out trying to rearrange them. We quickly got to the car before it got too out of hand. Poor little guy was asleep before we even got home; probably dreaming of fixing his buggy arrangement.

He Keeps Me On My Toes

2012-02-01T15:33:00.002-05:00

And all of this in just 24 hours....

9:30 AM- A huge truck pulled up in front of our house to drop off roofing supplies. When Cameron saw the action outside the window, he stood up on the couch and started jumping up and down. He pointed with one hand and starting squealing with excitement while the other hand nearly flapped off his wrist. I've tried flapping my hand that hard to see why it's so fun but all I feel is pain.

11:00 AM- I decided it was finally time to take Cam to the dentist. I knew there was a chance it would be a tough visit so I requested a private room which they happily accommodated us with. I tried to talk to him about the visit before hand but it made no sense to him. Once we got back in the room, he started screaming. I don't know if it was the lights, the strange people, the small room....who knows, but something triggered his freakout mode. I knew he might be upset but honestly, I didn't think it would be as bad as it turned out to be. It took 2 very patient hygienists and myself to hold him down so the dentist could spend 45 seconds looking in his mouth and painting on a fluoride treatment. No cleaning could be done but it turned out that his teeth were in great shape and a cleaning wasn't really necessary.

Late Afternoon: Out of curiosity, I gave him a reading assessment. As many of you know, he was diagnosed as Hyperlexic (meaning he had a precocious reading ability before the age of 2 but had low receptive skills). His last assessment by a professional had put him on a 3rd grade level but it was awhile ago and I could tell his reading had progressed. I got to 4th grade-8th month before he decided we were done. Sarah Hazel's therapist gave me a take home evaluation for him and we got all the way to right around the start of 4th grade when he stopped me on that one too. Since he was not cooperating, I never got my final answer but it's safe to say his decoding skills are at least a 4th grade level. Of course his receptive skills do not match that, if they did then it wouldn't be Hyperlexia. On a gifted kids forum I belong to, someone suggested I look into the book, Drawing a Blank: Improving Comprehension for Readers on the Autism Spectrum by Emily Doyle Iland. I'm wanting to order it and give it a go. I think once he starts understanding what he is reading, he's going to prove to us that his abilities are way above what any of us could imagine. I tend to not talk to much about my kids abilities when I'm off my blog and out in the real world, but I have a feeling he's not going to stay under wraps much longer. Several people have already picked up on just how out of the norm he really is.

5:00- I was getting Sarah Hazel ready for ice skating when I looked over on the couch and saw where a certain little fellow had made an attempt at writing his name. His developmental therapist told him one time that names are written with uppercase and then all lowercase. She wasn't intending to teach him how to write his name but instead just showing it to him because he loves letters so much and gets very excited to read his name. He watched intently as she made the lowercase letter "a" and then he made a near exact copy. She asked me if I had taught him that because it was so well formed. I told her "No. You just taught him that". That was about 3 weeks ago. Obviously, he never forgot.

This morning....just 24 hours after the exciting truck that caused major flappiness. I get a call that Cameron is throwing up at preschool. When I get there, I found a green little Cameron cuddled up in a ball in Miss Christie's lap. I had forgotten his diaper bag earlier so he did not have a change of clothes. Luckily they had extra diapers and a shirt and socks for him. A few miles down the road, he pukes all over himself and the carseat. I pull over and strip him down to a diaper. Before we get home, he throws up 2 more times. Once in the house, he keeps going. Right now it's 3:00 in the afternoon and he has kept down Pedialyte for a few hours. It can only get better....right?

Routines

2012-01-29T14:49:00.000-05:00

Now that Cameron is going from toddler to preschooler age, some of those Autistic behaviors are starting to become more obvious. We can no longer blame them on being a toddler.

Before John turns off the TV for the night, he always turns it to Disney so that it's right where it needs to be when the kids wake up in the morning. Last night he forgot. I noticed a cartoon was on that I was not familiar with but thought since it was a Sunday morning, that maybe it was a special Disney movie. I got Cameron's normal breakfast for him, a cinnamon maple brown sugar organic poptart and a cup of almond milk. When I tried to hand it to him, he was already in deep distress and instead of happily taking his breakfast from me he pushed me away. I laid it down on the table but he followed and picked up his food and threw down on the floor. I scooped it up and took it back in the kitchen and figured I would wait until he asked for it. He was crying and flailing all over the couch but could not find the words to tell me what was wrong. Starting to worry that something more might be wrong with him, I pulled him to my lap and began giving him deep squeezes. We have discovered that deep squeezes are the quickest way to get him to relax. After a couple minutes he points to the TV and yells "NOOO, NOT THAT!". Aha! Silly mommy failed to realize it wasn't Disney and silly Daddy forgot to put it on Disney. (We're prisoners to the kids routines!). I changed it and within a second his whole body relaxed and melted into me. He then quietly asked "ahtart milk?" to which I quietly replied, "Of course buddy. I will happily get your poptart and milk".

It's amazing how one tiny slip up in his routine can shake up his whole world.

Tummy Trouble

2012-01-26T15:13:00.000-05:00

My kids are for the most part pretty healthy. When viruses and bacteria are running rampant, they usually pass us by. Apparently our luck ran out.

This morning as I went into Cameron's room he quickly stood up in his crib, a panicked look on his face. He started gagging and then his mouth filled with vomit. As I picked him up, he spewed puke in my face. I hurried him to the toilet so he could let the rest of flow into there. It stopped for awhile and then he started throwing up again. This time he spun in circles not sure of what to do as more vomit flew out of his mouth. I tried to calm him the best I could but he was so frighted. He shook all over as he clung to me. Saddest. Thing. Ever.

He's in bed right now but not sleeping. I'm watching him on the video monitor and can see him playing Toy Story songs on his iPad.

Hopefully it's just a 24 hour thing that doesn't spread to the rest of us.

A Boy and His Blocks

2012-01-24T12:05:00.000-05:00

Last night I left Cameron in the living room with a bag of Unifix cubes while I cooked dinner. Sarah Hazel was with me in the kitchen so he had no helper to aid him in what he was up to. The first time I checked on him, I found him sorting the cubes by color then stacking them. I thought that was quite brilliant of him so I took a photo of him at work.

A few minutes later I came back and found this....

And I thought his sorting skills were brilliant.

An Emotional Response

2012-01-23T16:02:00.000-05:00

Last Friday we took Sarah Hazel to her first movie theater movie which just happened to be her favorite movie of all time, Beauty and the Beast. There was a bonus though....it was in 3D. At first I thought, nah, she'll never watch it in 3D. I toyed with the idea a bit longer and thought, if we are going to spend money on a 3D movie, it might as well be one she has seen before and we know she loves. Now of course we set ourselves up because now she is going to thing every movie she owns can be seen in the theater, in 3D no less. That one is gonna take some explaining.

Of course she loved it and of course she wore her special child sized 3D glasses and of course she had to have the $8.00 bucket of popcorn bigger than her head. Actually, I think we both could have fit our heads in that bucket and still had room leftover. I have to say, Beauty and the Beast in 3D was pretty awesome. Even if it was packed with gobs of chatty little girls and one crying baby (who takes a baby to a movie?). All of that, except the crying baby, was to be expected. What we did not expect was as we were walking out, a tween girl said "Awww, that little girl is crying". I looked around at the swarm of preschool girls and not a one of them was sad. Then I looked down at my own and sure enough, that little face was screwed up tight. Her lips begin to quiver as we walked out into the lobby. "I don't want it to be over!" she wailed. Poor little thing had gotten so emotionally invested in the whole thing that when it ended, she couldn't transition. John picked her up and out of embarrassment, she covered her mouth tightly while trying to stop her uncontrollable sobbing. It broke my heart that she was upset by her emotions but you could tell she was. We found a giant Chipmunk statue and tried to distract her with that and then quickly shuffled her over to a big candy machine for a treat. I was desperate to do anything to fix her broken little heart. After a few bites of Pretzel M&Ms she began to calm down. Just before we walked out she tells me "I was crying because I miss my brother". Yeah right.

I guess it's time I talk to her about her emotions and how it's ok to show our emotions when we are watching a movie or listening to music. In the past we have noticed that she gets very intensely involved in songs and will start pouting if the songs are about something sad or even the music has a sad sound to it. She's a little too observant.

Anyone else dealt with overly emotional preschoolers being affected by music and movies?

An update on our happy little lady and why we are not registering for Pre-K

2012-01-19T14:26:00.002-05:00

It has been almost two months since we pulled Sarah Hazel out of preschool. It's absolutely unbelievable how different she is. Her out of nowhere meltdowns are nearly gone, she is no longer moping around and whining about every little thing, her SPD is getting under control, she smiles every morning and tells me how much she loves being with me, but most importantly, she's happy. Naturally happy. We may never know what exactly bothered her about school but I still think it was a combination of her being a homebody and her SPD and giftedness being misunderstood.

It has taken a lot of time and adjusting to understand how to deal with her. She is high maintenance, high spirited, and very curious. Once I stopped listening to all the advice on how to handle a "normal" child and instead turned my focus from what we all think she should be to letting her be what she wants to be, that's when the change occurred. Everyone says preschool is the right thing so we kept her enrolled and pushed and pushed her until she was pushed away. I'm glad I started following her lead and my heart. My little girl is back and better than ever.

Registration for Pre-K programs start now, if they haven't already. As of right now, we are going to let registration pass us by. We've got a good thing going on at home and I'm not really sure what pre-k can offer that she isn't getting here. Academically, she's more than ready for kindergarten. I know, I know, I know... your mind immediately just questioned the social aspect and the part about learning to respect authority. Growing up I learned that friends do not have to be in the same class, grade, or even the same school and you can learn to respect authority by taking classes outside of the home and going to your friend's houses. She spent 3 years in preschool with the same kids. She's only been to one of their houses. She's hung out dozens of time with friends who do preschool at home or go to other preschools.

I didn't go to pre-k and I turned out just fine.

So what are we doing these days? You can always look on our preschool blog for a full update but mostly, we've just been having fun. She can't get enough Starfall, Reading Eggs, and K5 Learning.com which I guess isn't a bad thing. She's taken an interest in the new lego sets for girls, Lego Friends. She has two big sets and one small and is able to follow the directions on her own. We've been going to the library twice a week to work on her reading list for the Mensa For Kids Reading Award Program. Overall, it's a good list. I question their choice on one of the books (Sam the Minuteman) but that is simply because Sarah Hazel found it to be scary and did not like the idea of a child with a gun though I explained how it was a different time period. Typical girly-girl I suppose. A 4 year old boy would probably love it. Her second week of ice skating went as well as the first and this weekend she is taking a cooking class. Now that her attitude has improved, it's so much easier to do stuff with her. She was always so worn out before.

I think she is living proof that what might be right for most isn't always right for everyone.

And Cameron? He's just doing typical Cameron stuff like breaking apart his crib. We've ordered a video monitor for his room. This is going to get interesting.

Happy cooooolllllld Monday! Brrrr.

2012-01-16T11:05:00.000-05:00

I haven't done one of these in forever! I think they are fun to do every now and then. If you want to play along, please come back and leave me your link in the comments so I can see what you are up too =)

The weather in my neck of the woods:
Kind of overcast and cold. According to my thermometer, it is 40 degrees. Any temp under 70 this time of year is too cold for my blood.

Things that make me happy:
Every morning, Sarah Hazel crawls into bed with me to cuddle. It's the sweetest time of my day.

Book I'm reading:
Twilight: New Moon. Don't laugh! I know it's a teeny bopper book. I resisted the movies as long as I could but my hubby, of all people, wanted to watch them. Reluctantly I did. The first one was so-so but then it kept getting better with each sequel. How often does that happen? Maybe with Harry Potter but that's about it. Anyways, after seeing Breaking Dawn, I decided I wanted to read the whole series to see if we are missing anything not in the movies. I'm only on the second book but I love it! In case you are wondering....team Jacob.

What's on my TV today:
I think I hear Jake and the Neverland Pirates in the Background. Tonight after the kids go to bed, we'll probably watch a CSI Miami episode. We're trying to get caught back up for the season. I think we also have a new Fringe to watch.

On the menu for dinner:
I found a Rachel Ray recipe for Mexican Chicken Lime Soup (thank you Pinterest). I made it a couple weeks ago and it was amazing! I cannot make anything without altering it to my liking so I included my alterations on the comments section of my Pin, but you can click on the picture to get to the original pin. Warning, my way is SPICY.

On my To Do List:
Laundry, preschool (yep, we're still doing it at home!), Kroger, and maybe vacuum if I find the extra energy. When it's cold, my energy is just zapped. Kimberly at Stinker Pinkers, if you are reading this, I can hear you laughing at me in all of your northerness!

A Recipe to Share:
I posted this earlier today so it wouldn't get lost in this post. Here is my recipe for Vegetable Soup with Turkey Meatballs

In the craft basket:

I have always loved playing around with paper. On Saturday, I decided I really wanted to craft something without the mess of sewing or scrapbooking. I love sewing but it takes over our entire kitchen. That and my machine is still acting kooky since I never got it professionally re-tuned. The solution: origami. It doesn't take up a lot of room and is something I can leave sitting out to work on, unlike my other crafts which take up way too much space. Thanks to Pinterest, I found lots of inspiration for my revived hobby. Now I have this lovely pile of flowers (see picture above) but can't quite decide what to do with them all. A pomander perhaps? They are too bulky for a wreath though I think I might try to make a wreath later in the week with smaller flowers that have a flatter design.

Looking forward to this week:
I would really like to take Sarah Hazel to see Beauty and The Beast since it's been re-released. She keeps wanting to go back to Pei Wei so maybe we could eat there before the movie.

Tips and Tricks:
Don't eat yellow snow. Sorry, that's all I've got.

Blog Shout Out of the Week:
Along Came the Bird - The real life adventures of a special needs family.

Lesson learned the past few days:
Never run out of organic pop tarts. Cameron is not a happy baby today and now we're going to have to get out and go the grocery store which is something I try not to do with both kids.

On my mind:
Will Sarah Hazel like ice skating this week as much as she did last week or is the honeymoon over? It's silly to worry about but if you knew how hard it was to get her to finish the soccer season, then you'd understand why I'm concerned.

Devotionals, Scripture Reading, Key Verses:
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. ~James 3:9-10 NIV

Soup's On!

2012-01-16T10:42:00.000-05:00

Since it's freezing outside, here's a soup to warm you up.

Vegetable Soup with Turkey Meatballs (feeds 2 or 3)
1 lb of ground turkey (you can use beef but I like the softer texture of the turkey for meatballs)
1 14.5 oz can of diced tomatoes- undrained
1 14.5 oz can beef broth
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup Stove Top Stuffing (that's what I had in my cabinet), or italian bread crumbs, or crushed croutons
1/2 of 1 lb bag of frozen mixed vegetables- mine had okra, beans, corn, potatoes,peas, carrots, etc...

Combine tomatoes, broth and water in large saucepan and bring to a boil then simmer for a few minutes. While that is simmering, combine ground meat with crumbs of your choice then roll into 1" balls. I get about 35. Drop them into the pan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and cover. Let simmer until the meat is firm (about 160 degrees) and veggies are to desired softness. For extra yumminess, add shredded cheese on top.

Skating

2012-01-13T15:32:00.000-05:00

I have been waiting to write this for two reasons:

1. I have really cute pictures on my new phone relating to this post but I'm completely incompetent when it comes to phones and can't figure out how to get the pictures from the phone to the internet.

2. It's too good to be true.

I gave Sarah Hazel the options of gymnastics, dance, and cheerleading but on her own she came up with "I want to be an ice skater". After the failed attempt at soccer, I've been very hesistant on signing her up for anything but she was so persistant and sure about ice skating that I actually decided I should give it more thought. I gave it a few weeks but in the meantime, I checked on dance classes because around here, that's just what you do. All little Southern girls take dance. At least, it seems like they do. I've never really imagined her as a dancer but still, I felt like if I didn't sign her up then she was missing out on what all of her friends are doing.

Screeeeech. Let's stop this train for a minute. Since when have we started doing stuff just because it's what everyone else is doing? That's not us. At. All.

I called the dance studio and a very confused and somewhat bothered teenager answered. All she could tell me was to come down to sign up. She couldn't tell me what classes were still open or anything about what all was involved. I have enough chaos in my life that I don't need a disorganized dance studio adding to the madness. Maybe that doesn't bother most people, but just one hint of disorganization and lack of interest in our participation will send me running away without looking back. I double checked all of their class schedules and decided it was all just too much trouble. Especially for something she wasn't really asking to do.

I remembered our EI coordinator mentioned her daughter was teaching 4 year olds at the ice rink. I looked it up. Classes lasted for 8 weeks with a performance at the end. If Sarah Hazel hated it, we only had 8 weeks committed instead of a whole semester. The class schedule worked perfectly for us and they were excited about adding her to their roster. Her first class was just a few nights ago and wouldn't you know, she loved it. We got a flat tire on the way but even with that, nothing could mess up just how perfect her night went. She crawled out on the ice and learned how to stand and fall, over and over again. She turned around to me and I could see a big goofy grin on her face. She excitedly waved at me. The same kind of wave she gives me while she's riding a carousel. That "I'm giddy and having a blast" kind of wave. When class was over, she told me she wanted to come back everyday. She's brought it up several times since, always asking when she gets to go back. I can't believe it. I thought for sure that she would fall and that would be enough to end her ice skating career but nope, she's all for it; falls and all.

Here's to ice skating!...and me figuring out how to get those pictures off my phone.

An All About Me Meme

2012-01-12T14:23:00.001-05:00

My sweet bloggy friend Lana was right, I do need a mindless meme post! Lana and Karla are two of my blogger bff's who tagged me for the meme they were tagged for. I'm just doing my part to spread the meme love =)

First off, if you haven't seen their blogs yet then you are missing out.

Karla at Beyond the Dryer Vent , and I made a connection way back in the early days of me trying to figure out what was going on with Cam. We bonded over the SPD issues our kids were dealing with and a little bit later, MERLD. I have never met Karla in person, yet I feel like we are long lost friends. I wish so badly she lived closer so we could do our crafts together and let our special kiddos have playdates. I've made a lot of friends in cyberspace, but Karla holds a special place in my heart.

Through Karla, I met Lana who blogs at Along Came the Bird. She has a beautiful little girl named Lily- aka Lilybird, who also has some special needs similar to my little Cam. Lana is like a breath of fresh air. The way she writes to me instantly calms my soul. I am so thankful that God allowed our paths to cross.

I hope that someday I get to meet both of these women in real life. Real friendships can be found through blogging and my friends Karla and Lana are proof of that.

Now on to the meme. Here are the rules should you find yourself tagged.

Thank the person who gave you the award.
Link back to the Blogger (or Bloggers) who awarded you.
Answer the following questions, down below.
Pass the award out and ~~victimize~~ recognize other Bloggers letting them know, of course, that you've ~~nailed~~ love them.

Favorite color:
Blue. Really any shade makes me happy but my very favorite is a shade close to periwinkle. It's kind of blue with a tinge of purple. I would do my entire home in blues but our house was already done in greens and beige. I painted Sarah Hazel's room light blue and our half bath a periwinkle-ish shade. Needless to say, those two rooms are my favorite even though the half bath isn't entirely finished.

from my garden

my sister and I on my wedding day- notice her dress and the flowers in my bouquet are that same shade of blue I love

Favorite Animal-
Koalas and giraffes have always been favorites. I also love horses, cats, dogs, and unicorns. In my world, unicorns are real =)

Favorite Number: The number three. Divine perfection. God in three persons, blessed trinity.

Favorite Drink: I can't live without Dr Pepper (or it's generic counterpart) but oh boy do I love a Diet Vanilla Coke from Sonic. Sonic ice is the best.

Facebook or Twitter? Um hello.....Pinterest. I used to love Twitter but if I didn't log on and "chat" daily with people, I seemed to fall out of the circle. I don't have the time to sit around and read everyone tweets to catch up on what I missed in a conversation. I like Facebook for keeping up with people. Pinterest though, is my happy place.

Click it to follow me............

Passion? oh goodness. I have so many. I guess research...or in other words, knowledge. I absolutely love to research stuff. Everything from Autism to the history of roads. I like to read textbooks for fun. I would say that meteorology and geography are passions but I kind of lump them under research since I'm constantly learning new things about both of those subjects.

Getting or giving presents? Gifts giving and getting them kind of stress me out. I like to give gifts as long as people don't feel like they need to give me a gift in return or make a huge deal of thanking me. In that same line of thinking, I don't mind being given a gift from the heart. If you are expecting a return gift me, you're probably going to get your feelings hurt. It's not that I'm not incredibly thankful for the gift given to me, but if you are just doing it to make yourself feel better, well......

Favorite day: Monday is my funday! No therapy. Just me and the kids hanging out in our home sweet home. I will fight to keep this day just as it is.

Favorite flower: I'm a wee bit obsessed with flowers. Just come by home in late spring and you'll see what I mean. Hydrangeas, Daisies, and Peonies are at the top of the list. Luckily, the weather here is perfect for flower gardens that extend from early spring all the way into the fall and some flowers make it into winter. I found a strawberry growing in early December and right now have a few Nigella blooms. Here are some old pictures of some of my flowers over the past few years.

Ok...now on to the tagging.

Alicia at Our Little B Words . She has three beautiful kiddos and is an amazing mom. Two of kids are extremely gifted so we've become a great support team for each other as we both try to figure out all the madness that goes along with raising the gifted child.

Jess at Keep It Together. Jess is a fellow Autism mommy and has been a great supportive bloggy friend. We share a lot of the same parenting and childbirth beliefs, so even if everyone else thinks I'm nuts, Jess understands. She is expecting baby #3 any moment now so if she doesn't get to participate in this meme, I give her a free pass. ;)

The Small Home Conundrum: Part 2

2012-01-11T10:58:00.000-05:00

I received a few comments on here and via email about my frustrations with my home and feeling overwhelmed. Some of you hit the nail right on the head when you pointed out that it's not my home that I'm unhappy with but the functionality of it. I hadn't even looked at it from that angle, but I think you all are probably right. I do love my little house and it's big flat back yard. I love my established flower garden. I love my neighbors. There are a good deal of ran down houses in the neighborhood but I kind of look at that from the point of maybe those families are like us and really cannot to make their home a showplace. We do our best to keep up our home but replacing rotting boards and caved in ceilings just isn't in the budget. Not when you have medical bills and student loans to be paid. When I look at my ran down home and it just adds to the helpless feeling and leaves me feeling more overwhelmed. Those repairs are just one more thing and they are things that would have to be taken care of before we could ever consider any sort of remodeling.

It's simple. My home is out of control and I am totally, miserably overwhelmed by it. I am sure people think I'm crazy since I'm a stay at home mom who should have all the time in the world to make my home perfect. I challenge them to spend a week in my home, doing laundry, basic cleaning, therapies, home preschool, and the constant battle of keeping my two kids on an even keel so they don't melt into puddles. Just turning on the vacuum causes a SPD flare ups of epic proportions. If you wonder how I have so much computer time, it's the only activity I can do where I can stay right with them and keep a watchful eye. I can't exactly go up in a bedroom and spend the day reorganizing it while Cameron is left unattended. You don't leave a child alone who once ripped the heater out of the wall.

I feel like there is no solution other than to just sit and drown in the madness. I need to suck it up and love what we do have and stop complaining.

The Small Home Conundrum

2012-01-09T12:07:00.000-05:00

This is kind of rambly.

You know I can't go for too many months without having a meltdown post about the state of my home. It's the constant demon I battle. Today, and pretty much everyday, I get up with the intentions of doing something productive to make my home more comfortable for me. There, I said it. For me. It's all about me and my comfort level. Everyone else in this house seems to be comfortable surrounded by the chaos but I find the chaos to be debilitating, incapacitating, paralyzing. It keeps me from using my kitchen the way I want, from sewing, from scrapbooking, from deep cleaning, and the list goes on. I'm frozen by the madness.

Normally I blame all of this on owning too much stuff. I still think that is a huge part of the problem but I also want to look at it from a different angle that encompasses a whole different problem. The problem of owning a small home.

I have weeded through piles as much as time allows me. I have hauled off van loads of donations to various groups in need. I have bought hundreds of dollars of organizing products. No matter how hard I try though, there is no magic solution to making this house the home that I want it to be. It's too darn small for this family. I can get rid of gobs of things but it's never going to fix the things about this house that drive me insane. Things like not having a pantry or a real laundry room. Things like having a galley kitchen which does not allow for more than one person at a time to be in it. Things like having the teensiest tiniest bathroom vanity and no extra wall space to do any sort of rearranging. All of these things did not bother me before we had kids but as they get older and collect more things and require bigger furniture, I'm going to go even more insane with my feeling of being smothered by stuff.

It's really pretty silly. I want a bigger home to house my crap. Or is it silly to desire that? People move all of the time for the exact same reason. Isn't that part of the American dream? I feel guilty and selfish for wanting a bigger home. Simplicity is better so I feel like I should find a way to make my little house stay simple and void of things that too often steer us away from God. I think we Americans are slaves to our own clutter and spend so much time buying, cleaning, sorting, and desiring stuff that we fail to live our lives the way God intended. I say all that but I don't live it out. I'm guessing I'm far from alone and more of you can relate that you care to admit.

I feel bad for those who are never content and are constantly on the path for something bigger and better. Does my desire for a more comfortable home lump me in that same group?I think of myself as a pretty content person. After all, I'm a stay at home mom with two beautiful kids, food on the table, and a full life. Outside of my need for more space, there is nothing I am truly just pining over. In other words, there is nothing out there that I can't live without. It wasn't until I had kids that I realized just how great my life is. Autism and all. Even with my desire for a new home, I don't find myself feeling discontent about it or bitter because I don't have it. I just feel defeated by our current space and have no clue what else I can do to make it work for us.

So what's the verdict. Does my desire for a bigger home make me selfish? To some our home is big though in the area of the city I live in, it's miniscule in comparison to homes in neighboring subdivisions. I'm not asking for one of those homes though. Just something with more room and a good yard. I should just be happy we have a home, after all moving isn't even an option that we can afford.

It's Crying

2012-01-08T16:28:00.003-05:00


The double paci. It has nothing to with this post other than to show you just how naturally goofy he is.

Cameron is the funniest kid, however, it's totally unintentional.

Yesterday, I got him up from his nap and sat him on the changing table. While he was laying there, the rain outside began to pick up from a gentle pitter patter on the roof to what sounded like buckets being dumped on our house.

Cameron got this surprised look on his face and exclaimed "It's crying outside!".

As if that wasn't the cutest thing ever it was the next sentence that had me bent over in laughter.

I stood him up and pulled up his little pants. He got this really serious look on his face as he stared off into space. He then very plainly stated to no one in particular, though I was the only one in the room....

"My weenie's crying."

He wasn't even trying to be funny. Just stating the facts.

Oh my. I guess boys will be boys!

Finally a Christmas Post

2012-01-06T12:57:00.001-05:00

I never did make a Christmas post on here but that's because there isn't much to write about it as far as it being hard to manage, Autism wise. Last year we took precautions to keep Cameron's meltdowns as few as possible so this year we employed the same ideas and kept our schedule nearly identical with as few trips out of the home as possible. We know he quickly gets overstimulated in tight spaces, especially if a lot of people are talking at once, so visits to others homes are hard. It doesn't matter how close the family is, noise is noise and it hurts his head. That's just how it is. Sometimes I worry that people will think we are being selfish by making special accommodations for him but as soon as that meltdown occurs and I see the pain and confusion in his eyes, I no longer care what anybody thinks about our situation. In lieu of Christmas Eve service at church, we stayed home at gave ourselves plenty of time to just enjoy Christmas Eve without a hectic schedule. As much as I love the church service, it was nice to not be rushing around. It was a nice laidback Christmas! Here's some highlights in pictures:

loving on daddy

Nana's fun sparkly tree! I should have taken a picture of the food too. We feasted!!

The biggest dollhouse ever. That was a gift for Sarah Hazel and her cousin to keep at Nana's. It's pretty awesome. I think Cameron is contemplating how to crawl inside.

Just before opening presents at Nana's.

something was funny

Sarah Hazel went around the room and asked to have her picture made with everyone. It was too cute!

Hahaha. I love it.

Gifts from Mommy and Daddy- or as some may say, Santa.

He lost his pants and gained a paci in between our Mommy/Daddy gifts and when Santa Grammy brought hers.

Sarah Hazel told Grammy awhile back that she was going to buy her a Squinkies mall.

Normally I'm against underwear shots but this is pretty darn cute.

The verdict on the tooth...I mean teeth.

2012-01-05T16:37:00.001-05:00

I got Sarah Hazel in to see the Dentist Tuesday afternoon even though our insurance would not cover emergency dental care. It was worth the 90 something dollars though to make sure her permanent teeth are okay. I only thought the one tooth was loose because it's obviously moving but the dentist said actually both of her top front two teeth are loose. He also said the roots had prematurely dissolved and questioned how many accidents she had before this latest trauma. As I thought back on it, she's had a lot of busted lips. A couple years back while at the beach she had a really bad fall against a metal chair and her teeth cut right into her bottom lip. That accident alone probably did a number on those teeth. Add in all the other falls on her face and this latest accident, and yeah, she has had a lot of trauma to the mouth. There is a small chance that they will tighten up but he said even if they do it won't be for long because there just isn't enough root to hold them in. I commissioned my mom to go ahead and make a tooth fairy pillow identical to the one that I had as a little girl. Her permanent teeth are pretty far up so if these front ones do come out in the next year she's going to be a little gappy for awhile. I wonder how much fakies cost?

K5 Learning.Com- upcoming review announcement

2012-01-05T16:24:00.000-05:00

One of the perks of being an established blogger is the chance to review products for free. I just received an email from K5 Learning inviting me to try out their program for six weeks in exchange for an honest review. I'm very excited to get on there with Sarah Hazel and let her try it out! I'll let you all know what I think when our review time is up.

K5 Learning has an online reading and math program for kindergarten to grade 5 students. I've been given a 6 week free trial to test and write a review of their program. If you are a blogger, you may want to check out their open invitation to write an online learning review of their program.

Well hello there 2012.

2012-01-03T09:58:00.001-05:00

Hello 2012, goodbye 2011- the year of diagnosis after diagnosis. It was kind of a bittersweet year, one of discovery yet heartache as learned about everything that goes along with Autism, SPD, MERLD, APD, giftedness, feeding issues, sleep problems...and the list goes on and on.

Cameron had surgery and also was pitiful during a sleep study that really didn't help us much on our quest for answers. Sarah Hazel surprised us all with just how smart she really is and also showed us just how many of her own struggles she has with listening comprehension, SPD, and anxiety about preschool. We figured ways to better manage tantrums and also figured out that sometimes preschool isn't always the best fit for a child.

Inspired by the changes I had seen when red dye was removed from kids diets, I went on my own quest to learn about the effects of food on children. In that quest, I discovered how horrible the the food industry is in the US and how ill educated we are about what we are really feeding our families. By my own trial and error, I discovered that my kids (and I) thrived when eating unprocessed foods free of artificial dye and preservatives. It was during this time that I also figured out that Cameron is lactose intolerant. After drastic changes in his diet, he came alive. Yes he is Autistic, but the change in his diet brought him a little further out of his world and into ours. Shortly after the change in diet, he said "MOMMY!" for the first time. A few months later, "I love you Mommy". During the time I was learning about food, I also started researching alternatives methods of treatment for Autism and began digging around to see what all the research had to say about the Autism-Vaccine link and not just what one very publicly shoved in our face rebuked study said. I found that there is a lot more information out there on the subject that what you see on the news. I also discovered my own flaw when I kept thinking Cameron regressed at 12 months when in fact according to all my notes on my calendar, he regressed after 12 months- just after receiving his immunizations. It was at his 15 month visit that early intervention was brought in.

I feel like we are still on a path of learning and discovery but I also feel like we have a better idea of where we are going instead of blindly grabbing at answers like we did in the beginning.

2011 was also the year of the great tornado outbreak. We, along with most of our brothers and sisters here in the south, huddled in our tiny bathroom as the world outside twisted, rumbled, and hurled balls of ice. We came outside to find an alien landscape filled with hunks of ice that Sarah Hazel mistook as eggs. We were surprised that our house still stood. A little over 7 months later, we still have storm damage to be repaired. Over the next few days, we learned how lucky we really were as we heard the news reports from other places in the south, places not that far from here. As I walked the neighborhood, I began to pick up what looked like scraps of paper in yards on on the road. As I examined each one closer, I realized I was holding memories that had been sucked up in a funnel and thrown back out. I found pictures and other documents from Alabama, Georgia, and nearby places here in Tennessee. I was fascinated yet heartbroken. I diligently searched for the owners of these documents. I connected with their family members thanks to a facebook page that was created for the purpose of reuniting these belongings with their owners. My heart broke into a million pieces to learn that all of the families I was able to connect too had lost their home. Some had lost their lives.

We went to the beach, to the mountains, and took Sarah Hazel to her first Furman football game. There was dance lessons, cheerleading, and choir practices. I continued to bond with the ladies in my special needs moms group at MOPS. Cameron graduated feeding and speech therapy. John finally fulfilled his dream of building his arcade machine.

As 2011 came to a close, we were enjoying time being lazy. John was off work, there were less therapies to attend, and I had declared the last few weeks of the year as my time to do nothing. It was all working out beautifully. During the free time John decided to get up in the attic and stabilize it after the little accident I had a few months back when out of nowhere the ceiling caved in...with me standing under it. Ironically, his attempts at fixing the attic end up in more damage as he lost his footing and busted through another portion of ceiling. I ran over to the massive rumble and found John's leg dangling from the ceiling and his body caught against a chair and the rafters. He was in pain, bad pain, but refused to go to the ER. We weren't done. A few hours before 2012 rang in, Cameron slammed a metal bucket into Sarah Hazel's face. I rushed to her and found blood coming out of her mouth. At first I thought it was a busted lip but as I searched for a cut, I found the blood was coming from her front top tooth. I gently touched her tooth and it moved. Over the next couple days I made sure that John didn't make sudden movements for fear his ribs were broke and he'd puncture and organ but I also had to make sure Sarah Hazel did not bite with her loose tooth. Last night, January 2nd, I finally talked John into going to the ER after the pain became unbearable. He checked out okay other than some bruised ribs. I'm hoping to get Sarah Hazel to the dentist today or tomorrow for x-rays of her mouth. It's quite insignificant now but in the days leading up to 2012, I dropped a pitcher on my foot and blackened my big toe and Cameron fell into the Barbie camper and busted his nose.

So here's to 2012. Please be good to me.

Top 11 of 2011

2011-12-29T12:57:00.001-05:00

I promise to come back and blog. I have declared this week as my lazy week to not do much of anything except enjoy my kids and do silly things like play video games and read Twilight. It's rare I get chunks of free time but John is home all week so it's been nice having some extra moments to just be.

Since 2011 is coming to a close, I have gone back and found this year's top 11 most read posts. For those of you who are new around here, this is a good way to catch up. =)

1. And the diagnosis is.... - our surprising introduction into the world of a gifted child
2. Cameron's Sleep Study and ENT Visit- sleep studies on toddlers are no fun
3. It's Senior Hottie Day. Hello 1995! - a humorous look back on my senior year of high school
4. Coming Out with My Parenting Beliefs- who I am
5. Open Wounds- dealing with an Autism diagnosis
6. Picture Schedule Tutorial- how to create your own picture schedule for the home or classroom
7. Over It- sometimes Autism just flat out stinks
8. Bye Bye Red Food Dye- the beginning of our journey into understanding how food affects our kids
9. More than terrible twos? - behavior issues and Autistic toddlers
10. Today is the Day- the official diagnosis of Autism
11. Dumb it down or let her soar? - questioning how far to let a gifted preschooler go

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T18:46:00.000-05:00

Ave Maria

2011-12-21T12:16:00.001-05:00

"hmmmmmm....hmmmmm.....fructus ventris. Ventris tui Jesus"

SCREEEEEECH

That's my car screeching to a halt. It was a miracle no one rear ended me or I didn't run off the road. I nearly threw my neck out of place as I turned so quickly to look at my 2.5 year old who is singing Ave Maria....in Latin.

He didnt stop either. He continued on all the way through another verse and chorus and did not stop until towards the end at which point he closed his eyes and bobbed his head taking in every note.

I know it sounds crazy. I couldn't make up something this ridiculous! He really sang Ave Maria and he really sang it in perfect latin. The rest of the drive home I was in shock and still could not shake the weird feeling once I got home. How in the world could a child so young know a song by heart that to my recollection he's never heard? In another language no less. It was exciting, frightening, and a tad creepy all at the same time.

I suppose I should not be too overly shocked. After all, this is the child who read his first word at 15 months, knew his alphabet by 12 months, could count to 100 before 2.5 years, recalls random number sequences like addresses or phone numbers he sees on commercials, and can recite entire commercials, shows, and songs only after hearing or seeing them once or twice. But that is all in English. He can also perfectly sing in key. I should know better than to ever underestimate what this child can do.

The only thing I can figure out is that he has obviously heard the song before. I know it by heart and have preformed it in Carnegie Hall along with my old chorale ensemble but I can't recall ever singing it to him. I remember it being a challenging song to learn because we wanted not only to hit every note correctly but also make sure our Latin was spot on. Yet for Cameron, the song was as natural as breathing.

I'm guessing there is some link between his Autism and his musical ability and memorization. It's gonna be interesting to see what he does next.

A Hard Pill To Swallow

2011-12-18T09:00:00.001-05:00

I never forget about Autism, but sometimes I forget that it's a lifelong thing that isn't going to just magically go away. So whenever I see an older Autistic child, I feel a little nauseous and frightened over what the future may hold for Cameron. The place where I take Sarah Hazel for therapy treats a lot of children with Autism from age 3 all the up to 18. In Cameron's therapy centers, I rarely see a child over the age of 3 so it's a bit of a shock for me to now be exposed to the reality of Autism and what it looks like after preschool. I often watch the other kids in the waiting room. They mostly bring a smile to my face when I see them interact with other and even come up and talk to Sarah Hazel. But there are those times when tears sting my eyes because not only can I relate but I'm scared too because it is reality for us. Often we are on the outside looking in at other's with needs and we feel a deep sympathy for them but we can't fully understand or connect. I am no longer an outsider but instead looking at what is coming down the road. It's real.

During Sarah Hazel's last appointment I sat in the waiting room close to a boy, probably around 16. He was a very nice looking kid and neatly dressed. Typical of a boy his age, he was hunched over playing his Nintendo DS. One would never know just by first glance. Then I noticed he started fumbling around for something and when he found it what he was looking for, a squishy stress reliever ball, he started to frantically squish it. As more people walked into the waiting room, he started to move his hands around in awkward motions, something I have noticed so many children with Autism do. Then he began to make noises with his throat, louder and louder. I wanted to meet his eyes and let him know he had a friend but at the same time, I didn't want to do anything to make him any more uncomfortable.

As we left the appointment, a little boy about 7 was walking in with his mom. She had stopped him on the sidewalk and was talking to him about slowing down and walking. His hands too doing the same movements as the older boy we saw earlier. The little boy started shouting at his mom and sister. It was then that I got mad. Not mad at that boy but mad at Autism and it's existence. Mad that these two boys were experiencing anxious moments that no one else can quite understand. Mad that these other moms have in a way, lost their kids. It's just not fair.

I decided after that to drive to a nearby bookstore to relieve my stress and worries. As I was pulling my van into a spot, I noticed the car beside me had a "Autism Awareness" magnet. Those things now catch my eye from a mile away. I quickly spotted another friend with Autism. This time another teenage boy, sitting in the floor of the children's section, happily reading one of those large Disney Bedtime Storybooks. I noticed other moms pull their children away from him. Again, more anger inside of me.

I always expected that my anger would come as a result of difficulties with Cameron. Instead, it was fueled by my sympathy for other kids and their families. Part of it too is the fear I have for Cameron's future. At his transition meeting for the next stage of early intervention, they informed me that our closest school does not have a preschool program for him, so if he ends up qualifying for one, they will provide the transportation- aka the short bus. When you are pregnant, you never dream that one day your child will be on the short bus. It's a hard pill to swallow.

I Heart Meltaways

2011-12-17T08:00:00.001-05:00

When there is no time to bake, candy meltaways save the day. I took these yummy delights to a recent cookie swap because i knew I wouldn't have the time to make a fancy cookie but I could find 30 minutes to dip pretzels and coat them with sprinkles. EASY! Pour the sprinkles on by hand to prevent clumping. Refrigerate to set. I tried gel icing but it never hardened so while it was pretty, it wasn't exactly transportable and the icing smeared once I wrapped them.

If you want another fun candy meltaway dessert, check out this recipe for confetti popcorn at Along Came the Bird. I made it for Cam's teacher's but silly me, I forgot to take pictures. It's soooo yummy though and crazy addicting.

Too Much Party Rockin

2011-12-16T08:00:00.002-05:00

This past Saturday was the annual Ho-Ho-Ho Down presented by Tennessee's Early Intervention Services and Friends of Tennessee's Babies With Special Needs. It is so refreshing to be able to take my kids to a party that is entirely catered to children with special needs. It's in a big open gym, perfect for running. They have different stations set up for crafts, face painting, santa pictures, and even a special place filled with bean bags for kids who might need a quiet moment, or in Cam's case, a place to bang his head when overstimulated. No one is staring at your kids or giving judgemental looks because they all are in the same season of life and totally get it.

If you have a special needs child, you know how hard a visit to Santa can be. Not that we're huge Santa fans in our house but for nostalgia sake, I do like the photos of my kids with the big man. There is no way I could take Cameron to wait in a huge line at the mall and then have him sit in a strangers lap with all the noise, echos, and lights. Then I'd have to pay $20 for a picture of the miserable experience. Thankfully, Santa was at the Ho-Ho-Ho Down and our free photo should be coming any day now. Cameron did cry and I ended up in the picture too but it was low stress level and that's what's important here. After Santa, each child gets to pick out a gift to take home.

Lunch was catered by Chick-Fil-A which Sarah Hazel thought was too cool. The party was going so well that we made a major slip up. I'm not sure what I was thinking or what John was thinking but we let Cameron hit a few sugar cookies and (yes, and) a chocolate frosted cupcake. In the back of my mind I knew we'd pay but there was also a part of me that just wanted my kid to keep enjoying his party. Later that afternoon, he exploded out his diaper in all directions. I will no longer be receiving my mother of the year award after this particular incident.

After the great poop explosion of 2011, we headed to our Sunday School party. It's great too, but not so much for my easily excited and overly sensitive little man. Things quickly escalated in his mind and in no time he was running around aimlessly and trying to stick his fingers in an electrical outlet. After several failed attempts thwarted by me, he decided to take on the massive wood nativity backdrop. I was positive he would knock it over (one of my kids got it halfway down last year but I have managed to block which one out of my memory). He never did knock it over. No, instead he busted through the thing somewhere right between a donkey and baby Jesus. I have to confess, I laughed. Sometimes, it's all you can do.

Cute little reindeer cupcakes. They looked so innocent.

It's gonna be a party in my tummy! Yeah!

Too. Much. Sugar. This will cause me to explode but I'm gonna eat it anyways.

Oh that cow is so silly!

Rolling across the giant letters in the gym= happiness

Sarah Hazel made sure to hit up every craft table.

Sleep, Math, and a Tribal Man

2011-12-15T14:33:00.000-05:00

I cancelled the sleep study. I just could not put my little guy through a night of fighting with wires, fluorescent lights, and a foreign place. Not after how hard of time he had in the study last spring. At least then he was small enough for me to hold down but now he's bigger,stronger, and less tolerant and I know those wires will not stay put. I remembered them telling me that for every time I took him out of his bed to hold him, it would not count in the study. There is no way now that he will stay in his bed for a solid 4 hours with me sitting right there beside him. The pediatrician offered suggestions of natural remedies so I'm going to try all my options first, before doing another sleep study.

In other weird news, Sarah Hazel finished her Kindergarten math book some time back. She worked in it like one would a crossword puzzle book or a book of mazes. It was challenging but not so much so that she needed my help other than reading directions and scribing. She kept asking for a new book so I began researching every homeschool math curriculum I could find online until I finally found one that looked friendly to a young learner with auditory issues and high visual skills. I decided to get her Singapore Math 1A which I thought was first grade equivalent but then when I got the book, it says it's for second graders. Huh? I have no idea what grade it's for but she thinks it's the greatest thing since sliced bread and has already completed the first 30 problems in 24 hours.

I'll leave you with a picture of tribal Cam. This is what happens when your 2 year old finds the marker your 4 year old leaves in the living room (though she blamed me for it. Hmph!).

Yooooo Gabba Gabba Party! (tutorials included)

2011-12-12T20:40:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago we celebrated Sarah Hazel's 4th birthday at a local Italian ice and custard shop. Her choice of themes was Yo Gabba Gabba which presented a tad bit of a challenge because I could not just go out and buy pre-made decor at Party City. You can order some things online but we waited till the last minute and I decided it would be cuter if we just did it our way without the premade stuff. Pinterest provided me with a lot of inspiration including the favor bags and Muno pretzel pops. There was a lot more I could have done but keeping it simple worked great and a good time was had by all.

Yo Gabba Gabba Favor Bags:

I could have printed off the character faces and glued them on the bags but what fun would that be? Since the characters have simple features, it was easy to free hand eyes, mouths, etc... with a Sharpie marker and then cut out and glue. I bought the bags for less than 50 cents a piece at JoAnn.

I tried two different methods. First of which was to draw only on white paper then fill in with colored markers. As you can tell, the color on one of Brobee's horns wasn't full so I decided to then cut them out of red construction paper. From there on out, I used colored paper to make the colored features. I could not find a yellow bag so Plex was made from a square of yellow paper but if you can find yellow, you can omit that part and just go right for the black square around the eyes. I recommend drawing and cutting out all of your characters faces before making the bags. It seems to make the process much faster than making one at a time.

Muno Pretzel Pops:

I have been making candy coated pretzel rods for a few years so when I saw these on Pinterest, I knew how crazy easy they would be to make. Yep, crazy easy! It's just pretzel rods dipped in Wilton Red Meltaways. I added a candy eyeball to each one while the coating was still soft. Candy eyeballs can be found in a small package at JoAnn in the same aisle as Meltaways and molds. Leave refrigerated till just before party time because it doesn't take much heat to get them all melty again. Seeing dozens of Munos in my fridge was quite the funny site.

Party Pics:

Check out the Nickelodeon Yo Gabba Gabba site for more ideas and coloring sheets you can print off for free!

Up All Night....Sleep All Day

2011-12-09T16:07:00.000-05:00

*For all of you around my age, yes the title of this post is a really bad song reference.

Last March we took Cameron in for a sleep study (post is here) because he was sleeping too much. I had no problem getting him to sleep but I suspected that maybe the reason he needed so much sleep was because his sleep cycles were off. I never really got a full clear report on that study because it seemed to have gotten lost somewhere between being shuffled around from doctor to doctor. Our ENT ordered it for our Neurologist but it went through a Pulmonologist who went through the hospital's sleep center. Yeah, confusing. The Neurologist decided he wanted to do his own sleep deprived study on Cameron but since we had just had the other and it was so rough, we decided not to repeat it at the time (the useless neurology visit post is here).

We went to the beach in July and it was then that Cameron decided to throw us for another loop and go from sleeping too much too not enough. When we came back from vacation, he no longer wanted to nap all day and getting him to stay asleep at night was a nightly battle. We had already been using Melatonin on him to try and get him to get a restful sleep thinking we could create a normal sleep pattern for him so we kept on giving him the Melatonin but it never really had a great effect on him. It would help him fall asleep but it did not keep him down more than 4 hours before he was wide awake. We upped the dose yet still no success. In the meantime we had started giving it to Sarah Hazel because she struggles with getting her mind to settle enough for sleep. For her, it worked.

Fast forward to now. He no longer falls asleep easily (except on car rides) but is instead content to sit in his crib all night and talk to his stuffed animals. Once he does fall asleep, you cannot so much as tiptoe past his door without risking waking him up. He is the lightest sleeper....except during the day and then you can even hold him in your arms and do a jig and he won't budge. You would think if you took away his afternoon nap, he'd sleep more at night but we've found it actually has the opposite effect and causes him to have rougher nights.

He can fall asleep in the car and stay asleep with us carrying him around. I don't know how many lunches in loud restaurants he has slept through.

I don't understand it. There is no rhyme or reason to his sleep patterns. Asleep in the day but awake at night. Our pediatrician is concerned at his sudden flip flop from oversleeping to undersleeping and has ordered another sleep study. This time we are going to take it because we know she won't brush us off and she doesn't do anything half-way. I dread it so bad and will be surprised if he sleeps enough for them to get the time they need. Hopefully he won't look as pitiful as last time (see pic below)

Growing Into Autism

2011-12-08T16:00:00.000-05:00

"Turn the lights off pleeeeease!" Cameron begs as he runs for the light switch as his school. He has suddenly become very bothered by flourescent lighting and the lights on our Christmas tree. Luckily there are myriads of distractions at school to get his mind away from the lights for a little while at least but at home, the Christmas tree stays off until he is asleep. I am not really surprised by his reaction because of his sensory issues but at the same time, it does sadden me. It's just one more thing at add to the list of what in a way seems like worsening symptoms.

I asked in an Autism forum if kids kind of "grow" into their Autism. Obviously I don't mean grow out of it but some perceived it that way and replied with snippy remarks. What I meant was do children with Autism seem to present more Autistic as they get older and their behaviors cannot be confused with toddler tantrums or immaturity. In our case, it seems like as we are starting to move closer to three, his Autism is much more apparent. More stemming, more sensory issues, less eye contact.

I see the great strides he has made but it's hard for me to get past the new issues that keep cropping up. Yes he is talking now but I don't feel that it's efficient. I realize that a 2 year old isn't going to hold a deep conversation but generally when they do, there is some connection. There isn't really much connecting in his conversations. His echolalia is at times worse than ever. His eye contact more fleeting. His speech often garbled and confused when he's upset. All things that feel like regression. Or is it that he's just growing into it? See now what I mean by "growing" into Autism?

We made a plan with the speech therapist that if we did not see improvement in a few months to bring him back. He's got about 3 weeks left to show me he's growing in his communication or else I'm going back and banging on the door of the rehab center.

Someone with experience, talk to me about periods of regression and how Autism changes as a child grows. This is getting harder not easier and I'm feeling like my little boy is slipping farther and farther away. Is it just his age of transitioning from a baby to a preschooler?

Wordless Wednesday: Popcorn!

2011-12-07T15:56:00.000-05:00

Roller Babies

2011-12-06T11:36:00.000-05:00

This is Sarah Hazel's favorite video of the moment. Enjoy!

I'm a Monday Mine-o-saur

2011-12-05T12:24:00.000-05:00

I love Mondays. It's the only day of the week we don't have to be anywhere...no therapy! When I chose to be a stay at home mom, I envisioned my days mostly spent at home, teaching my kids, baking cookies, playing on the swingset, and having a few park playdates peppered in here and there. That vision never manifested and instead I spend my time running the kids to different therapies, researching new ways to help them, and staying mentally and physically exhausted from it all. Going out in public alone with both my kids almost always results in tantrums, stares, and you can bet someone aside from my children will be pushed or kicked.. The playground that I once dreamed of being our fun place now comes with a loud warning signal. It's not at all what I planned.

Then there's Mondays which are as close to my original vision as I get. On this day I feel like I have all the time in the world to play with my kids, teach them, clean the house, cook a meal all without the timer clicking in my head as I dread the next place we have to be. Even when the Christmas tree gets pulled to the ground (just happened this morning) it's still downright serene in comparison to the rest of our hurried week. I don't always get the things done that need to get done, like cleaning the house, but I at least feel like it's an option.

From here on out, I'm claiming Monday as mine. Mine all mine (and my kids included cause I like it that way).

The Thankful Wreath

2011-12-02T09:48:00.000-05:00

I made a big deal of talking to Sarah Hazel about Thanksgiving and it's importance and how it's a separate holiday. I'm guessing it went in one ear and out the other....

4 Year Interview

2011-12-01T13:10:00.001-05:00

Last Friday the princess turned 4!

What do four year olds like to do?
SH: play like big girls play

What kind of job do you want to have when you grow up?
SH: picking up my brother when he falls after I throw him up in the air

Where would you work?
SH: I'm not gonna work. Just play.

If you could be any creature in the sea what would you be?
SH: a seahorse that plays with other seahorses

Where is your favorite place to go?
SH: Menchies (frozen yogurt)

What is your favorite state to visit?
SH: South Carolina so I can be a cheerleader at Furman

Why do you like Barbie so much?
SH: Cause she has a nice camper.

Would you like to ride around in a real camper like Barbies? Where would we go?
SH: Yeah. We could go camping and look at skunks and deers and eat hot dogs.

If I asked you to go make me something in the kitchen, what would you make?
SH: Stew and I'd stir it up and up. I'll make apple spider with stew in it.

Can I have some cinnamon in my apple spider?
SH: Yes, I have cinnamon peas. Oh wait. I have to make more cinnamon in my workshop because we ran out.

Now that you are four, what all are you going to do?
SH: Help people. If they drop something I'll pick it back up. If they fall in the pool I will get them a bathing suit.

Pre K Denied

2011-11-28T17:41:00.000-05:00

I really wanted to get on here today and write how excited I was about the family meeting for Sarah Hazel's new school but instead, I'm still trying to understand what went wrong. Let me back up a bit for those of you who don't know the full story. The short version is that Sarah Hazel has had a rough semester at preschool for various reasons ranging from a misunderstanding of how to manage her sensory issues to problems with a 4 year old bully. There's so much more than just those things I mentioned so we decided we'd pull her out and put her in a smaller co-op program where she could go for pre-k and elementary school. When I checked into the school, I was upfront about the SPD, auditory processing difficulties, and IQ testing since there was no point in even sending in an application to somewhere that could not accommodate. We also discussed that her birthday is November which means that she would not normally go to pre-k until next fall but that they would let her. There were three phone calls where we confirmed her birthday but that we wanted to put her in pre-k early. I was told in the initial phone call that the teacher would more than happy to work with me as Sarah Hazel progressed academically.

I don't know what happened.

We went to our family meeting this morning so the school could interview us and meet Sarah Hazel. All was going good but then I was asked to share the background of why Sarah Hazel was in therapy. I was more than happy to share everything because they need to know but I did ask if it was ok for Sarah Hazel to walk around the building with her Daddy because I was not comfortable talking about her "issues" in front of her. They completely understood. I started with the SPD and how we progressed into IQ testing and eventually therapy for auditory processing. I also mentioned Cameron being diagnosed with Autism just to get that on their radar. I never mentioned actual IQ scores or any abilities other than saying her visual score is high and her verbal comp was at the 10 year level. That was simply just to give them the idea of where she stands. I told them that as far as giftedness goes, we would deal with the issues related to that as they pop up. It was during that conversation that the mood shifted and things became uncomfortable. I was happy to share my child's needs but it almost seemed like they weren't connecting with what I was saying. Since they didn't ask specific questions though, I didn't give much more detail.

Then it got ugly. One of the ladies conducting the interview began telling me about the curriculum and wasn't sure that Sarah Hazel would be able to step into it mid-year and keep up (insert mad laughter into my head). She was afraid that she would not be able to do the phonics or blend words and not sure how she would do with the math concepts they were working on (again more mad laughter in my head). I told her that I had some time to look at the curriculum page by page and that I thought it was a great fit and that we were even past some of it but I did not think it would be an issue. You could tell she did not believe me....or did she? They asked what she had been working on in preschool so I told them about the Handwriting Without Tears and how Sarah Hazel told me it was for babies. The same lady who just doubted my child could keep up then said that was obviously boring for Sarah Hazel and she needed more challenge. I'm not sure where that huge leap is between Handwriting Without Tears and A Beka k4 phonics is, but in her eyes, my 4 year old with an IQ in the 99th percentile and eligible for Mensa membership would not be able to do it. She kept on with her concerns that the kids would be reading next semester and she would not be able to do it. I told her Sarah Hazel had already started reading a bit and just for fun and because I was getting furious, I added in the fact that my 2.5 year old can read. She asked me several times if I really felt comfortable putting my child in a situation where she would be behind academically and socially. I gave them every honest reason of why I was there, why I believed the ratio was a great fit and why I liked the idea of a part time homeschool for my child.

The other lady conducting the interview looked over at me and said "I get a little concerned with parents who want to start their kids early. Parents regret letting their children move ahead but never regret holding them back a year". I didn't know I came to the meeting for parenting advice! I told them I had no intention of starting kindergarten early and in fact I would never let it happen if we were doing public school (or any school outside of a co-op). They said she would have to repeat k4 which I was fine with so I reminded them about the conversation we had so long ago on the phone of giving her the next level of curriculum. They were not on board and said she would have to do everything all over again so I just needed to wait until fall. Better yet, the lady who so graciously offered parenting advice suggested that I should just do the whole curriculum at home since she was already doing so well. She said it in such a nice way I almost didn't feel the sting. Then came the part denying my child entrance into their pre-k program simply because all along, she didn't meet the cutoff. All of that and like magic, they remembered that they had this rule tucked so deep away that said 'no exceptions to the rule'. Pre-K denied. They nicely suggested that we try the mother's day out program instead.

It wasn't done. The parenting advice lady told me she was a board member and would present our case to the board. They would want to meet with us and have us explain our case in person. I made it clear that I was not there to start a ruckus and did not feel comfortable pursuing it any longer but strangely she kept pushing the issue. I had made up my mind by that point that there was no way I was leaving my daughter with people who doubted her but just to see the reaction I then said that the meeting might work. I let them know that I would be coming with confidential documentation from all of her testings as well as a written report from her therapist-aka gifted coach/consultant. I even told them that the therapist would be more than happy to talk to them on the phone or meet in person during one of our sessions. Truth be told, our therapist would love the chance to fight for this child and has told me repeatedly that she is there for us anytime we have a situation like that. I believe her. She warned me this would happen, just not at the preschool level.

The mood changed again. I think they realized at that moment that this mama who claimed to have a really smart child wasn't playing around and just saying her kid was ahead. Maybe they didn't realize I could provide plenty of documentation and even a professional to vouch for my child. Suddenly the tide turned and the parenting advice lady felt that Sarah Hazel would be too far ahead and they would not be able to accommodate a child at that high of a level. Strangely that's not the first time a preschool has told me that. I don't know if that remark was just her way of trying to get me out the door or if she finally believed me. I'm going with the first thought. I know they thought I was a crazy pushy parent. Typical. If only they knew how against my beliefs it is to push a child into doing something they are not yet ready for. Truly, the experience of raising non-typical children is one of those where you can't pass judgement until you've walked about ten miles in that families shoes. If you could even make it ten miles and not start begging for a way out.

John and Sarah Hazel came back around this point and you could tell he was confused but knew something went bad without me saying a word. I looked at him and told him "She can't do pre-k because of her birthday". He did nodded and said a long strung out "ohhh-kay" that says I smell a rat. They asked again if we did want to meet with the board and at that time I gave it over to John as I was tired of the game we were playing. I knew they didn't want us there so why keep stringing it out. He told them we'd call back but I think we all know, it's not going to work out.

It took a lot for me to call them in the first place and be so open and upfront about Sarah Hazel. It's an awkward thing to bring up with people because they either believe you or they don't. I think the battle has only begun and this was just our first taste of what big school will be like. Hopefully we can find another pre-k program with a similar layout to what this one had. For the time being, we are giving up on formal preschools for awhile and instead are going to enroll her in classes like cheerleading and art or whatever she wants to do. I think we'll all be happier.

Sudden Anxiety

2011-11-23T13:59:00.000-05:00

Just when I thought things couldn't get anymore complicated, Sarah Hazel enters into a new mysterious phase filled with anxiety over things she previously loved to do. This all started sometime around the new preschool year and when she started playing soccer (aka the great disaster). She has always been a child willing to do new things and never has shown an ounce of fear. She climbs on strangers in hopes of becoming their best friend. I was always fortunate that she readily and willingly went into classrooms, friends houses, and to grandparents.

Never has she had separation anxiety until now, however it's not just separation anxiety. She doesn't want to leave the house.

No preschool, no church, no choir and mission friends, no restaurants, no shopping, not even grandparents. What. The. Heck?

After a few weeks of the new school year, for the first time ever, she began to get a little wimpery when I would take her to school. She has always protested school and cried about it but never before was I, or our home a part of her reason for not wanting to be there. At the same time this was beginning, we were in the midst of soccer season. She hated it. Every game she would come up with elaborate excuses of why she did not want to play. Despite her reasons, we made her play soccer. Despite her wimpers, I made her go to school. We have never let her excuses push us over because we want to teach her that she can't easily get out of things she has committed or is required to do.

Eventually the wimpers over school turned into full meltdown madness. First it began with afterschool meltdowns (see that post here) but over the past couple weeks has also turned into morning tantrums. She begs and pleads with us to not make her go to school. She has given every excuse imaginable for why she hates preschool. The other kids won't play with her, she's bored, she is bullied, but most of all she just wants to be at home with "Maw-maw" (that's mama with a serious southern drawl). The thing is, I believe every one of her excuses. Even the bully excuse because she gave me details that I know she couldn't make up!

The school anxiety has turned into not wanting to do anything at our church- where her preschool also is. She always loved going to church. She also doesn't want to go shopping, something else she's always enjoyed. Sometimes she will leave the house as long as either her Daddy or I are with her, but almost always she will say she is ready to go back home before we are half way through a store. She used to say almost daily how she wanted to spend the night with one grandparent or the other, but as of last week we couldn't even get her to go visit for the day, let alone spend the night. The last time we got her to go for the day, she insisted Cameron go with her. What?! She can't stand her brother 75% of the time!

So what does all of this have to do with soccer and preschool? I don't know that it does. I just know it all started the same time as those things. By the end of the soccer season, we had figured out that a lot of her issues with being on the field were a result of her perfectionist ways, SPD, and auditory processing issues. She told us repeatedly that she wasn't any good because she never got the ball. Is this newer anxiety related to all of that? Does it have to do with being a perfectionist? Is she afraid she will get upset while she is out and no one will understand how to help her? No one but her mommy?

I know children go through phases of some separation anxiety but is it this sudden and this intense? I am having a hard time buying into the thought that this is typical behavior.

More Than Gifted

2011-11-18T14:00:00.000-05:00

I have always been unsure how to write about Sarah Hazel's "difficulties" here on my blog. My fear is that people will read what I say about her and then label her a problem child. She isn't a problem. She is a beautiful and friendly girl with a big personality but just happens to have trouble controlling it. I always have this instinct to protect her and I think part of that is because we don't really understand what is going on with her. Her current therapist as well as the psychologist she saw, attribute much of her behaviors to her IQ. I have researched the topic of giftedness until I thought my eyes were going to bleed and indeed, I kept coming back to the same conclusion the professionals did. Yet, I still worry there is something more. I am an active member on several forums for parents of gifted children. I finally mustered up the courage to present them with some of the issues we were seeing. They all agreed that yes, this is giftedness but also something more. But what? I have posted my letter below so that more people can understand that this isn't an easy ride and also so that if there are others going thru the same thing, they know they are not alone. If by some small chance you have any experience in this area, please contact me!

I am starting to become extremely concerned with my daughter who will be 4 at the end of this month. We took at her to a psychologist at the age of 3 because of her behaviors. She had already been diagnosed with SPD but she also had problems with temper tantrums that would last for hours, the inability to snap back to "normal" after her fits, short temper, auditory stimulation by using a monotone hum when doing anything that requires concentration, and very rigid and routine behaviors like having to count her steps every night from the exact same spot before she could go to bed. She also had an intense obsession with the color yellow and if anyone touched something yellow, she became very upset because that was her color and they might ruin it. Those are just a few examples. The psychologist, to our surprise, gave her an IQ test and sure enough, her scores put her well into the gifted category. He explained that many of her behavior could be attributed to her giftedness and that at that time, he did not see ASD but wasn't ruling it out either. Just a little sidenote, my son (2.5) was diagnosed with Autism and Hyperlexia by the same psychologist.

Fast forward to now, almost a year later. Some of her former behaviors, like counting her steps and obsessing over yellow have gone away. She still has the monotone hum and some sensory issues, especially with what I'm thinking may be hyperacusis. Her fits are still horrible and actually worse as they are starting to become more violent and verbal. She is unable to pull herself together and will shut down for hours. Sometimes we cannot even talk about the problem that set her off until the next day. Generally the things that set her off are minor but she has everything sequenced out in her brain if the sequence is broken, she loses it. It can be something as little as putting the left shoe on before the right. She has control issues as well and gets upset about things like people not walking orderly on the left or right sides of hallways or the sun not coming up at the exact time she wanted it too. No matter how hard I try, I cannot convince her that it's going to be ok and we cannot control everything in our world. There are days it's just too hard to leave the house because I fear the world will be too chaotic for her that day and not only do I have to deal with her meltdown, but I've also got my Autistic son to deal with which is stressful in itself.

When her IQ testing was preformed, there was some concern in her scores indicating there might be an issue with listening comprehension. I would have just chalked it up to age but she really does have issues with understanding what is being said to her. I took her in for an eval with an SLP who said she did have some auditory perception issues. She is currently in therapy for that.

Every therapist we have seen has said she is too young for an Asperger's dx but that it cannot be ruled out. What has me and everyone else thrown off though is how overly social she is. When I say overly social, I mean the kind of kid who smothers you and won't shut up for two seconds. She is so social, that it's actually awkward. If you have ever seen the movie Autism: The Musical, she is much like Wyatt in how talkative she is. She sustains eye contact, at least from what I can tell.

At what point does it go from just being issues stemming from giftedness to something more? Any clue what is going on here? Or is this typical behavior for a gifted a preschooler? Having a young gifted child is isolating but having one who is gifted with extreme behavior issues feels like living in a dark cave. I am so desperate for help.

Letting Go of Scrooge

2011-11-14T17:23:00.000-05:00

Aghhhhhh. Christmas is inching it's way closer and closer.

The produce section in Kroger smells like a giant Red Hot thanks to those nasty cinnamon pine cones. Have I mentioned I hate the smell of cinnamon? My delicate SPD afflicted nose cannot handle that smell mixed with the smell of deli fried chicken and bakery cakes.If my lettuce tastes like cinnamon, I'm gonna be real upset with you Kroger.

Sorry. I just needed to get that out.

I so badly want to love Christmas the way I used to as a kid but I got to find a way to get the scrooginess out of me. Scrooginess really should be in the dictionary, by the way. I'm allergic to pine trees (big thanks to the family for going fake). I hate casseroles, banana pudding, and nutty desserts but there's always an abundance of that stuff at parties. I think I'm the only human who goes home from a Christmas party starving. I tire of Christmas music by the middle of December. Santa Claus scares me worse than clowns. It's impossible to go anywhere without it taking double the time to get there and back. I see Christmas decor as more cluttery crap I don't need. Gift buying stresses me out. I don't know what anyone ever wants and I hate buying stuff just to be buying it because it's Christmas. STRESSFUL I tell ya.

See. I told you I was scroogy.

BUT...there are things I love. Mostly ABC Family Movies but other things too.

I love how much Sarah Hazel and her Daddy love Christmas. She has talked about it for months now. She wants a Barbie camper and Playmobil Hospital. She claims Cameron wants a Baby Alive. She's already requesting we sing Jingle Bells in the car. She kicked me in the gut when she told me all about how it's Jesus's birthday and that's why we go to all the parties and get presents. In her sweet innocent eyes, she sees every bit of this as one long massive birthday party. Actually, she's right. Oh how I wish we all still could remember that truth. In all my scrooginess I failed (as many of you have) to see why we do all we do at Christmas. We've lost the reason but my sweet not even 4 year old hasn't.

No more will I drag my feet preparing a dish for a party that I just view as another stressful get together. Now it's a dish for a party for Jesus.

It's Not Going Away

2011-11-09T14:40:00.000-05:00

Have you seen the documentary, Autism: The Musical? It's a must see for all parents and grandparents, and other caretakers of Autistic kids. There is some language in it I can live without but otherwise, it's a great look into the world of ASD.

Recently a study was published regarding the facial features of Autistic kids. Sure enough, Cameron fits the profile and I was watching Autism: The Musical, I noticed that those children, as babies, also had the same facial features described in the study. The resemblances were quite obvious to both John and I. I noticed too, that their mannerisms, way of movement, and prosody in their voice all reminded me of Cameron. It's tiny little things but now that I have a child on the spectrum, it's so easy for me to spot his more autistic characteristics even when no one else sees them.

These kids were all quite a bit older than Cam. In fact, I think everyone of them was school age. Yet, I could still see the resemblance and felt like I was glimpsing into our future. I think every one of you know that I fully understand my child has Autism however, I don't think I have yet fully thought about it being a lifelong thing. There was also that small glimmer of hope that maybe just maybe it's all been a big mistake and really he's just the way he is because he is extremely gifted or because he was diagnosed with MERLD. I know he's smart, and yeah, his IQ is probably well into genius level but his issues are beyond giftedness and beyond an expressive and receptive disorder. Seeing just how very similar he is to these kids in this movie, was the final kick in the gut. The kick that said wake up, your kid is 100% Autistic, welcome to the club. Now I know for sure; no more questions. Even though many of the kids in the movie were what I would consider high functioning, it still scared me. They are beautiful children but they still had issues related to Autism. I guess in my naive brain, I was thinking the Autism would fade away before he's 5.

I've known all along that it's for life, but I think because he is still so young, it's been easy for me to push the thoughts of the long term future to the side. I'm focused on the here and now, because it's comfortable. I don't want to think about the future. I don't want to think about him being bullied for his quirks or never finding a girlfriend because he cannot understand how to handle a relationship. It's too far and too much. All I can do for now is help him to the point where he can handle his emotions and social skills. We'll deal with the rest when we get to that bridge but now I won't be so surprised when the bridge is shaky and full of holes.

We have progress!!!!!

2011-11-07T15:05:00.001-05:00

After my home is so messy I want to crawl in a ball and die meltdown, we decided to put our minds to work and spend Saturday cleaning up some of the spots that were bugging me the most. I made a list of my top annoyances, even if they were small fixes like "we have too many bubbles". It was nice to get it all out on paper and then together, knock each one out. There were times I felt stuck and needed John's nudging to keep me in the right direction. When we pulled out the massive bubble collection (for the record I've never even purchased bubbles for my kids- they just appear) we discovered we had around 15 bottles. Whenever I want to get rid of something I immediately think to donate it, not trash it. Honestly, I was at a loss with what to do with the bubbles since I figured you can't donate them once they were open. It never even occurred to me to grab the trash can and dump them in. Thankfully, my hubby brought the trash can to me and not once made fun of me for not thinking to do that. It's not that I didn't want to throw them out. I just never thought it was an option. Duh. We cleaned out a utensil drawer that held 6 different shaped heart cookie cutters. I think one is plenty enough! We finally parted with the coffee cups that matched our dishes. We don't drink coffee. Finally I feel like we are getting to the point where the stuff we have is stuff we use. Now when I am straightening things, it will be so much easier to see what stays and what goes because it will be more obvious of what is not getting used. No more stuffing things away with the assumption that we will someday use it!

I really should have taken some before shots for comparison. The key was finding a proper home for all of the stuff we have. We bought another tall shelf for the playroom to get toys out of the floor and purchased a small set of plastic drawers for Sarah Hazel's art paper and school supplies. We still have a lot of work to do as far as the junk room to be converted to office/school room is concerned but we're one big step in the right direction and from here on out, it will be easier to chip away at.

I think this picture makes the playroom look way more cluttered than it looks in real life. The only shelf they had at Lowe's was black which did not match the one we already had but it's fine for now. I might can even paint it later if it becomes that big of an issue!

We don't have a real laundry room. Instead we have a hallway off of our galley kitchen that is supposed to serve as a laundry room. Luckily we have the shelves above the washer and dryer. Otherwise, there is no other storage in that area. I bought bins from The Dollar Tree for all of our cleaning products. I wish they were just a teensy bit taller but it's working for now. This is where the massive bubble stash had accumulated.

Since we never eat off of our china, I took it all out and converted it into a storage unit for pictures, scrapbooks, cook books, school supplies, and few nice serving pieces and table linens. My friend Kim did this with her scrapbook supplies and it just made so much more sense than using it for dishes that never get touched!

The counters are still too cluttered for me but the stuff that is out is used frequently, other than the toaster which I need to put away. At least there is no more food stored on top of the counters. This picture actually covers our entire kitchen. Yep, that's all there is to it! The microwave and spice rack is on on the tiny countertops to the left where you can see a snippet of the stove and fridge. There is a small eat in area behind where I was standing when I took this.

I have to put all of Sarah Hazel's tiny toys in her room so Cameron doesn't un-organize them. She's very particular with her belongings =) This causes her room to get a bit messy so I had to come up with a way to keep the toys from collecting on the floor. I took our old IKEA entertainment center from the pre-kid man cave and used that to hold bins of Playmobil and Polly Pocket. On top of it is a 3 shelf unit I got at Lowe's for $12. We hope to get her a junior loft bed soon. Underneath it she can put all of her stuffed animals and doll related items. That will free up some space!

Sarah Hazel loves to play on the steps where they curve. She would leave toys in the corner which I was always kicking to the side so no one tripped over them. Now she has a basket in the corner for all of the things she wants to play with on the stairs. It's easy to pick up and carry to where ever the toys need to be deposited to when it is time to clean up.

A Slave to Crap

2011-11-04T12:38:00.000-04:00

Every day I sit at the same spot at the kitchen table, wringing my hands, tugging the skin at the back of my neck, rubbing my eyes as I try to come up with a solution for how to combat the stress that is my messy home. I walk into what used to be a dining room and feel my chest tighten as I sit down in the middle of the room, not even knowing how to make it once again functional. We want to turn it into an office/classroom but right now, I can't see past the mess. That room is small and has become the catch all for bills, kids artwork, books, pantry items, extra cups and dishes, cookbooks, crafting supplies, and so on and so on. Stuff that I have no idea how to organize in such a small space but stuff that I want to keep. I give up and walk back into the our galley kitchen. There is no pantry, so what isn't stored in the old dining room, is either crammed into a cabinet or splayed out on the few feet of open counter space. There is no where to charge phones, iPads, or my laptop so now they too are out in the kitchen. Whatever comes home from school or therapy piles on the table, further closing me in. Sometimes all I can do is plant myself at my spot at the kitchen table and not get up because if I do, I get too stressed by all the mess. I avoid my bedroom like the plague during the day because the unmade bed and mismatched bedding almost always sends me over the edge. It's just one more thing to deal with.

As the holidays approach, I feel myself becoming even more stressed just thinking about the need to make room for gifts. I really don't mind my kids getting stuff, in fact I love getting them new toys but my lack of getting rid of older stuff it what makes it so difficult and smothering. The playroom needs to be changed over from a baby room to a big kid room with new, challenging toys that will keep their attention. Sarah Hazel spends hours each day doing artwork. She needs a system for that as well so she can easily access and store her belongings. The problem lies once again, in the fact that I have no clue how to take charge of these spaces and organize them. I know it sounds pathetic and like a lazy excuse, but it's the truth. I told John that I have often wondered if I don't have some sort of disability that hinders my ability to focus and organize. ADD? I don't know how normal it is to become this overwhelmed and stressed from the lack of ability to organize and focus. Truthfully, I can't see the forest for the trees. It's crippling and makes me want to bury my head under the covers and not come out until all material items are removed from around me.

I need help getting my home to a place where I am comfortable and happy in it. I can't do it by myself and I can't do it when kids are home. The thing is, it's going to take more than a couple hours. It's going to take days if not weeks to do everything I want to do to our home. When my sweet hubby gets home from work, the last thing he wants to do is help me clean the house. I don't blame him. By the time we finally get the kids settled, we are both too pooped to do anything other than watch TV. Weekends are always too busy and truthfully, when kids are home- we can't get a lot done.

So friends, tell me this. How in the world do you keep your home cleaned out and organized and still find the time to do everything else and be a parent? How do you keep your kids from breaking your focus when you are trying to clean the house? Are my kids just ridiculously high maintenance? Am I losing my mind? Yes.

Sarah Hazel's Yo Gabba Gabba Surprise

2011-11-03T15:15:00.000-04:00

If you have a toddler or preschooler, then you are probably aware of the craziness that is Yo Gabba Gabba. Just before Sarah Hazel's third birthday, the characters came to town for a live show so we took her to the show not knowing if she would be frightened, excited, or downright confused. She loved it so when we heard the characters were coming back to town again this year, we knew we had to get her there. We did not mention a word to her about the event up until we were getting in the car and then all we told her was we were going to a surprise place. We found our seats in the theater and asked her if she knew where she was. She looked down at the stage with it's electronic screen backdrop and said that we were at the movies. She's never even been to a movie so I'm not sure how she figured that part out. When the show started she didn't move but just sat on my lap, awestruck. At the end of the show, she became pouty as her favorite characters sang their goodbye song and walked off stage. I really thought she was going to cry but she held it together as she turned to me and asked if she could watch Yo Gabba Gabba in the van. Of course I let her. After all, she did not have a single fit the entire time despite the whole event being a big surprise. When we got home, she told Nana excitedly that it wasn't a movie and that they were really on stage. Glad she finally realized it was for real!

She has decided that she wants a Yo Gabba Gabba birthday party- no surprise there. There are some party supplies you can order online that go along with the theme but I figure I make up my own stuff that's just as cute and a whole lot cheaper. Thank goodness for Pinterest where I have pinned numerous ideas for what I hope will be a fun Yo Gabba Gabba themed party. When it's all said and done, I'll post photos!

Autism Myths Busted

2011-11-01T12:51:00.000-04:00

Now that I have a child with Autism, I have realized that much of the world has no clue of what it really is. The assumption that all Autistic kids should present symptoms the exact same way is just flat out wrong. The worst is the amount of people who try to argue with me about my son's diagnosis. Just because your cousin twice removed has it, does not make you an expert. Heck, I'm not an expert on it but, I live with it daily and as a mom it has been my job to research all the info I can get my hands on. The biggest thing I have learned is that Autism comes in all shapes and sizes.

Without further ado, here is my list of Autism myths that need to be busted.

1. Autistic kids do not make eye contact- It's all about the quality of the contact. Plenty of ASD kids can make eye contact however, it may not last as long as what we consider normal for socialization. Parents often use the excuse that "my child makes great eye contact" as a crutch for avoiding an ASD diagnosis. My response to them would be, how long is that eye contact sustained? Is it long enough to be considered a gaze or a stare? Are they locking eyes or just looking past you? Do they have the same amount of eye contact with others as they have with you? I think one of the keys to grading your child's eye contact lies in how comfortable the child is with the person they are or aren't giving it too. There was a study done at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, suggesting that Autistic people actually choose not to make eye contact because the brain perceives it as a threat. That might explain why the child who otherwise exhibits many red flags can still make somewhat efficient eye contact with mom.

2. My kid is obsessed with spinning wheels, therefore he must be Autistic- It's a normal part of childhood development to search out how things work. This includes spinning wheels. When it's no longer normal is when the child will only play with the toy to see the wheels spin and this type of "play" continues longer than a few minutes. He will become engrossed in his world of spinning wheels and not seem to notice what is going on around him.

3. He can't possibly be Autistic. He can communicate! - Not all children with Autism are non-verbal. And guess what? Even some who are can still communicate through signs and picture cards. According to the DSM-IV, a child who is diagnosed with Aspergers can not have a clinically significant delay in language. In fact, many children with Asperger's have a complex vocabulary at an early age.

4. My child stopped talking when she learned to walk. I think she just put all of her focus on her motor skills- A child may drop a few words for a short time but it is abnormal for a child to drop all words and not replace them with new words or sounds. If after a couple months your child has not picked any speech back up or suddenly seems to be delayed in communication, please see your pediatrician or call early intervention services immediately. When it comes to speech, early intervention is so important.

5. Autism causes one to become violent- It's just not true.

6. All Autistic people are savants- Clearly someone has been watching Rainman. Savant syndrome- which is characterized by an intense brilliance in a certain area- is quite rare. It is believed that around half of those who are true savants are Autistic, however, it does not mean that half of Autistic people are Savants. Giftedness, not to be confused with a savant, can be found in the ASD population but all people who are gifted are not Autistic.

7. People with Autism have a low IQ- This is the opposite of the above myth. IQ has nothing to do with Autism.

8. Autistic people are anti-social-I cringe when I hear this one! I have a friend who just happens to have Asperger's. He is funny, smart, and incredibly social. I don't know what his secret is, but he has found a way to manage his "traits". Yes, it is true that the majority of children with ASD have a hard time socializing, but please don't believe that just because someone has Autism, that they do not have a social side. That side may look just a little different than what is considered normal, but really every single one of us are social in a different way. People with Autism come in all varieties when it comes to socialization.

9. Autism is just a social issue- For some maybe it is, but for others it goes much deeper. There are temper tantrums, sleep issues, rigid behaviors, and all other kinds of things that often test a parent's sanity. Let's also not forget all of the co-morbid conditions like SPD, gastro issues, and speech disorders.

10. He'll probably grow out of it.- Stop and think about that for a second. Have you ever heard of anyone outgrowing Autism? Learning to cope and outgrowing are two totally different things!

What Autism myths do you think need to be busted?

Close, reaaaal close.

2011-10-25T21:09:00.000-04:00

Sarah Hazel is one of those people who likes to get all up in your personal space. Like up in your face smelling each other's breath kind of close. When we stand in line, without fail, she will inch up to the person in front of her until her nose is touching their butt. Generally the poor soul in front of us will do a little quick jump in the air then turn around and let out a quick high pitch giggle when they realize it wasn't me being a butt grabber but instead, my preschooler nosing their behind. I've struck up many post nose in the butt conversations with people. I assume because it's more comfortable to talk to me than it is to have their rear sniffed by a precocious three year old.

If you are sitting beside her (stranger or not), there is a good chance you are going to have your arm petted, hand held, and if your lucky, she'll dig her bony butt bones right into lap. I apologize and laugh at her lack of shyness but inside I'm dying because I cannot stand anyone in my personal space. I go into full SPD meltdown if you violate the boundaries of my invisible box. Plus, I hate talking to strangers. She forces me out of my comfort zone but I suppose it's better than her being painfully shy, right?

If she sees a child, she wants to be their best friend regardless of age or gender. The thing is, not everyone wants to be her friend. I used to hate when random kids would come up to me at the pool or playground when all I wanted was to be left alone. I hated those overly outgoing nosy kids and now I have one. Last weekend, we took her to the Furman homecoming game where once again, she was not at all shy. We watched her approach a couple of girls and ask them if they wanted to play with her. She was really sweet and told them her name and asked theirs. They kept trying to walk away but she would follow. At one point, the girls even hid from her. The nice thing is, she never even realized they didn't want to be bothered by her. I'm glad she still has that innocence about her and isn't hurt by other's actions. I totally relate to those girls though, just wanting to do their own thing and not have a stranger intrude. A little while later she found another girl who was at the game with her Dad. Sarah Hazel kept getting right up in her face and touching her, to the point of scaring the poor child. She ran to her Dad to hide. Sarah Hazel also ran to the little girl's Dad and started climbing on him. He was really nice about the whole thing but it was still awkward.

We talked to her about personal space and how not everyone will want to play when she does. I'm afraid though that it's going to take a little girl being downright nasty to her to get the point across. I dread that day but it's bound to happen if she cannot grasp the importance of boundaries.

Anyone have an overly friendly child? How do you get them to understand that people, especially strangers, need their space?

An Update...with a fabulous surprise ending

2011-10-24T13:32:00.001-04:00

I can't believe it's been a whole week since I posted but I have been so foggy from a nasty cold, that half the time, I've not even been sure of what day it was. Plus, John took half of last week off so we were busy doing things as a family which means that I'm not going to get on the computer all that much. He's going to take a couple more days off this week to help me weed through our massive amounts of "stuff" because I have come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I want to get this house clean, I just can't do it alone. I had great intentions of participating in the 31 Days to a Cleaner House Challenge but it just didn't happen. Even with an organized plan, I can't see the forest for the trees. It sounds crazy, but all of this "stuff" is breaking me down and keeping me from enjoying life in my home. My goal is to have the garage back to its intended purpose, a place for toys, overall less clutter, and the junk room converted into a office/classroom.

Yes, I said classroom. We are still doing Tot School (you can read about that here) We also have come to a plan for Sarah Hazel's pre-k. What do you do when you have one parent who is pro-traditional school, one who is pro-homeschool and a spirited gifted visual spatial learner with auditory processing issues and extreme sensory meltdowns? You meet in the middle and tailor your child's education to meet their needs. We have found a co-op school that we think may just be what we are looking for, for the time being. Half of the time would be spent in the classroom, and then the other half of the time would be homeschool. Remember my post about the dread I feel when I think of sending my kids off to big school? Right now, that feeling is gone and I am completely at peace with the co-op style of education. If it works out, we can keep her there for Kindergarten then re-evaluate how it's working out for us each year.

Speaking of school, Cameron has been accepted into an extra day at Birth to Three. The EI coordinator, speech therapist, and I all agree that he needs some extra assistance when it comes to social settings. I had put him on the waiting list for our church preschool, but the more I thought about it, the more hesitant I became. He needs speech models and interaction with kids yet he also still needs one on one attention to help him in the areas he struggles in. He can get all of that at Birth to Three. It does require me to give up another morning but I know how much he needs this program and I've seen how much he loves to be there with people who love him back. Once again, I'm at peace with this decision too.

Are you ready for more good news? I saved the best for last.

Drumroll.................................

Introducing the newest graduate from speech therapy!!!!!!

Finger Ribs

2011-10-17T17:08:00.000-04:00

Just when I thought she might be moving away from her anatomy obsession she comes to me with this.

"Mommy LOOK!!! I can make a ribcage with my fingers!"

VocabularySpellingCity.Com Review

2011-10-17T16:38:00.000-04:00

I was recently given the awesome opportunity to review the interactive website VocabularySpellingCity.com. If you have a school aged child or are a homeschooler, this site is not to be missed!

When you first go on the site, you can immediately enter in your own list of spelling words. The website then gives you the option to let the computer help your child with their words or you can print out practice sheets. There are also flash cards, games, and tests, all of which use the words you entered in. I love that instead of a generic list of spelling words, you have the ability to customize so that it really does meet your child's needs.

I was lucky enough to get to review the paid portion of the site which opens up a whole new world of activities that are spelling and vocabulary related. There are quite a few games that even my almost 4 year old could play by using the sight words she had recently learned. She especially loved playing Letter Fall and Hang Mouse. Now that she is beginning to read and spell, VocabularySpellingCity.com is going to come in handy for learning those new words.

One of my favorite benefits of signing up for the paid membership on VocabularySpellingCity.com, is that you can track your child's progress. That feature alone is worth the price! The paid membership option also opens up a whole new set of games not available in the free version. One that I thought was pretty cool is Speedy Speller where you type the word spoken as quickly as you can. Not only is it good for spelling practice, but it's good typing practice as well!

Just another cool feature I noticed when playing around on the site, is that you can download lists of vocabulary words by subject, such as Earth Science or Geometry.

So how much is it? There is a free version, but to unlock all of the goodies, I highly recommend signing up for the premium membership which is only $24.99 for up to 5 students. There are also class and school memberships which you can find out more about by visiting the membership overview page.

Disclaimer: I received a 1 year premium family membership to VocabularySpellingCity.com in exchange for my honest review.

Confession: Those little apples didn't fall far from the tree

2011-10-16T15:51:00.001-04:00

Really, my apples didn't stand a chance. If you've known me most of my life or in childhood, you'd know that I have some pretty quirky pet peeves. I can remember having them since I was teeny tiny. I was often made fun of by friends once they were around me long enough to pick up on the quirks so over time I acquired a tough skin. It was either toughen up or become disabled by my own quirks, sensitivities, and annoyances.

I watch Sarah Hazel have meltdowns because a tiny droplet of water lands on her shirt, or she doesn't get to open the door to a restaurant, or the toilet paper did not tear just right and you know what...I get it. I understand that the tiny drop of water has soaken through her shirt and now the appearance is off and that little wetness is like sandpaper rubbing against her skin. I know that she wanted to open the door herself, not because she just wants her way but because if she doesn't, the sequence of perfect transitions will be broken and the only thing that can fix it is to start over from step one of that sequence of events. I also understand that the sight of that sloppily ripped toilet paper is breaking up the square and everything about it is no longer equal. Her little brain is so organized that any disruption to the pattern takes a toll on her body mentally and physically. I get it cause I feel it too.

Her debilitating annoyances aren't necessarily the same as mine but her reactions are the ones I want to have, so I think that's why I have figured out the root cause for her and can relate. For me, it's the sound of uneven applause, the crinkle of the popcorn bag, or the slurp of soup that sends me over the edge. The sound of people clearing their sinuses has forced me to go collect myself numerous times, or else come unglued on the offender. My sweet hubby has waited patiently on me many times as I have to go change three times because none of my clothes feel right on my body. My sleeves must be the correct tightness or else my whole day will be ruined. Then there's my whole issue with socks so if possible, I just don't wear them. Top sheets, the feel of coins in my hand, the sight of white creamy sauces, the smell of broccoli, the sound of chewing, sloppy presentations of food...it all causes me to fall apart. I want so badly to have the reactions that Sarah Hazel has but I'm 34, not 3 so I can't. I just have to deal in silence and hope that no one is mistaking me for being rude. I don't know, maybe they'd rather think I was rude instead of knowing I was crazy.

Without a doubt, I would have been diagnosed with SPD as a child had the diagnosis been around. I also probably could have benefited from a solid round or two of feeding therapy. Sitting with Cameron through feeding therapy was like nails on a chalkboard to the rest of you. The smells, the mess, the way his blobs of food did not stay in the correct spot, all made me batty. But for him, I acted fine. Just like when Sarah Hazel freaks about her shirt getting wet, I splash water on my shirt to show her that it's going to be ok. I don't want my kids to be like me so I have tried so hard to never let them see me freak out or see my fears. Well, except that time a snake showed up on our back patio and then there is also that rule that I refuse to drop about there being no sour cream in my home, no exceptions. But otherwise, I try hard to make sure they are not picking up on my own SPD issues.

So there you have it. Actually just a snippet because if I told you all of my sensory issues, you might think it funny to use them against me. I can poke fun at myself over it all but seriously, don't ever show up on my doorstep with sour cream. I shudder just typing it out.

Sarah Hazel's Big Weekend

2011-10-13T10:56:00.001-04:00

Sadly, I feel like Sarah Hazel misses out on a lot with Mommy and Daddy because we are unable to take Cameron a lot of places. It stinks but,it is what it is so when she does have an opportunity to do something extra, we make the most of it. This past weekend was one of those times. Saturday morning Sarah Hazel played her last soccer game (whew, I'm glad that is over!) and then after that she had a pizza and trophy party. Cameron did tag along to the party and did pretty good until close to nap time. After the party, Daddy and Uncle Michael decided to be super dads and take 3 kids with them to the UT game on Saturday. They are slightly crazy. I suppose we had too low of expectations with Sarah Hazel because it came as a huge surprise to us that she actually loved sitting in the midst of 100,000 + screaming fans. If you've ever been in the UT stadium, you know it's beyond LOUD. It didn't even phase her! Daddy reported that she did exceptional and even filmed her on his phone to prove it.

On Sunday, I took her to a birthday party that was held at a corn maze/pumpkin patch/petting zoo complete with jumpy thing, cornbox, and wagon rides. This place was a preschooler's dream! I would love to have her birthday party there if it wasn't a pre-Halloween place. October is a little early I guess for celebrating a late November birthday though.

She told me she is going to keep her trophy by her bed so she can kiss it every night before she goes to sleep.

Is it just me, or is she really good at being cheesy in photographs?

Getting lost with her pals.

More cheesy posing.

The goats were her favorite.

Cornbox! Love it.

She is still talking about this.

We did all of that with no meltdowns! It's a record! She saved up her super meltdown for my Mom and I when we took her to Red Robin for dinner last night. That's a whole 'nother post.

There's No Help In The Middle: When IQ and MERLD Mix

2011-10-10T16:48:00.002-04:00

It's been over a year since Cameron started speech therapy which means it's time for his yearly evaluation. During the past year, he went from not saying much of anything to speaking in full sentences, from no signs or gestures to taking my hand and guiding me to what he wants. The change has been drastic in really a small amount of time, especially given his diagnosis of Mixed Expressive Receptive Language Disorder (MERLD) and Autism.

For those of you new to the blog or who do not remember what MERLD is, let me catch you up. It is a severe communication disorder in which the child has significant trouble with not only expressing themselves through communication, but also understanding what others are saying. MERLD can be a lifelong and crippling disorder for some people.

In the beginning, I joined an online support group for parents of other MERLD children (though they are kind of anti-Autism so naturally, I dumped them). It was in that support group, that I learned the prognosis isn't all that great and ~~most of~~ those kids are not even Autistic. What set me apart from the rest of those parents, was that without a doubt in my mind, my child has Autism which I feared would make his case of MERLD even worse.

When Cameron was tested a year ago, he fell three standard deviations below the average score. Meaning, his MERLD was severe. Even with weekly speech therapy, at times it felt that we were getting nowhere and that he would never improve. Luckily, we have a therapist who refused to give up on Cameron and has always found a way to get through to him like no one else can. Even while battling a serious illness for months, she was on top of helping my little man.

Today, he tested not even 1 standard deviation below average. In fact, his overall score was 100 which is the mean. Do you realize how massive of a jump that is in one year? It's huge. You can call it what you want, but I call it a miracle.

This brings us to a problem though. Based on scores, he will be kicked out of therapy but there's a catch. While his scores are high, they are slightly skewed because he has a brain not all that different from his sisters- it's safe to say, the kid is brilliant. On the test, he could point out concepts out of his age range like day vs. night but he was completely lost when his therapist would say something like "point out her shoes". He doesn't understand pronouns and struggles with social communication yet he breezed through the qualitative and vocabulary sections without a second glance. It's very black and white with him. Where he excels in one spot, he equally bombs in another which leaves him right in the middle as far as scoring goes.

His communication is still very much a struggle and not typical. He tends to stay silent most of the day, except when he's using echolalia, fighting with his sister, or wants something. You have to be at his level interacting with him to get him to talk. You can often tell that he has no clue what we are saying when we talk to him. Yet, he is going to lose services. It makes no sense to me.

For another blog about life with a little one struggling with MERLD, please visit my dear friend at Beyond the Dryer Vent.

**********************************************************************************
This has nothing to do with this post but it's hilarious so I'm gonna share. As I'm sitting here writingt this, Sarah Hazel is drawing an elevator, complete with elevator shaft. She said the people inside are listening to elevator music. Where does she get this stuff?!

Linen Closet Purging- That Felt Good

2011-10-08T19:04:00.005-04:00

Sarah Hazel and her Daddy went to the football game which left Cam and I here alone for the evening. Little man was completely content to sit and play with his letter magnets and watch Baby First TV so I took advantage of the free moment and purged the linen closet. I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna miss those hot rollers anytime soon. And time for a foot bath? Are you kidding me?!

Before- I spy 3 bottles of peroxide and kitty litter shovels despite the fact the cats are now mostly outdoors. Why do I have milk carton sized Epsom Salts? Help me.

After- Bye bye expired medicines, mismatched sheets, hole-y towels, and gloopy nail polish.

You would never know it from looking around my house, but the truth is, I'm kind of a minimalist when it comes to house stuff. I don't mind a little decor here and there but tchotchkes are not my thing.

Where I run into trouble, is with my kids things. They have so much stuff that they can't even enjoy it all yet I struggle with letting toys go. I think the only way I'm going to be able to finally clean their stuff out is to have John help me go through everything one by one and keep me in check about what stays and what goes. I have to do it soon or else the toys they bring in from Birthday and Christmas are going to give me panic attacks. I'm not kidding.

I have to get control of my home and the only way to do it is to clean out what we already have. The plan is for the two of us together to go through every room and closet and pull every single item out. The only things that go back in the room are the things we can justify keeping. The rest will make a nice tax write off. I doubt I'll have my minimalist home anytime soon but anything less than what we have now will be a huge improvement not only in our home but in my attitude and time management. The time it takes to clean up clutter each day is time lost with my kids.

Let's Make Pizza!

2011-10-07T14:11:00.000-04:00

A Little Taste of an Almost Typical Life

2011-10-07T13:23:00.001-04:00

This week Cameron's school was on fall break and Sarah Hazel's therapist was out of town. That meant less places to be. In fact, aside from Sarah Hazel's two days at preschool and the one day that Cameron had a speech appointment, we have not had to be anywhere. My kids have been mine all week and I love it! It's made me realize just how tiring it is to have an appointment set up everyday of the week. It's also made me realize how much I do love just being at home with my kids. Sure they can drive me nuts at times and this mama could use a break now and then, but there is nothing greater than being with them and seeing them learn throughout their days. I wouldn't trade it for a thing.

Remember our preschool issues? I'm happy to report that the all out meltdowns did not occur the past three pickups.I wonder if it has something to do with our more relaxed approach we have started taking with our schedule? She did have some mini- meltdowns as we were leaving and was a total grump, but I'm pretty used to her being grumpy and melty with me the rest of the afternoon on school days. She is a totally different child on the days that she does not go to school. I'm not really sure what's going on with that but let's just say there are plans in place to hopefully remedy the situation. Regardless,the last few pickups have been much easier on all of us.

Both of the kids did get random fevers this week but it was good timing for a little sickness since we did not have to be much of anywhere. My kids are the best sick kids ever. They actually slow down and just sit on the couch. I feel so sorry for them when they don't feel good, but strangely, they are a little easier to care for when they are sick!

So yeah....life is good this week. Happy Friday!

My Sunshines

2011-10-06T15:39:00.000-04:00

Lately I have been feeling a bit down because I was starting to feel alone and isolated with the kiddo's issues. I have all my awesome online readers who I love fiercely, but in real life, I had no one. I just wanted someone to take the time to understand why things are so complicated for us, why the label gifted does not equate to roses and rainbows, why I can't just take my kids wherever whenever, and why Cameron can't just eat what the other kids eat. Someone who would offer helpful solutions instead of judgemental advice. Someone who would not have to one up everything I said or not get offended because my child does something at a faster pace than theirs. Someone not afraid of the word Autism. When you can't find someone who wants to learn about your kids and love them for who they really are, well, it'll make you never want to leave the house. Not even to go to places you once loved to go to or to be with people you once loved to be with. What's the point if no one cares?

God know just who we need and at what time we need them. Over the past couple months, he has started pushing me closer to the people I needed. Friends who never judge but only love us in the midst of all of our craziness.

So thank you to Andrea, Bridgette, Hedy, Holly, Jen, and Karen for reaching out above and beyond. You all have been my little bits of sunshine in the rain!

see no, hear no, speak no.....

2011-10-05T11:27:00.001-04:00

An Interview With Sarah Hazel

2011-10-03T09:40:00.002-04:00

What's your favorite color? Yellow, pink and purple because those are my favorite colors in the rainbow.

Who is the best -- Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck? I like both cause I just like them.

What's your favorite TV show? Belle, Tiana, and Yo Gabba Gabba

What's your favorite food for breakfast? Lemonade, apples, grilled cheese, apples, and lemonade.
Lunch? Nothing.
Dinner? I just don't wanna say it again.

Chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry? Which is the best ice cream? All of them. I also like lime.

What is your favorite toy? My favorite thing to tap on is a computer. My favorite thing to balance on is a balance beam.
Once again...What is your favorite toy? I just told you! My Little Pet Shops and Strawberry Shortcakes.

What do you want to do when you grow up? ummmmmmmmmm. I want to help mommy cook. I want to be a cook.

Favorite holiday? What makes it best? Easter cause it has Easter eggs.

If you could live anywhere, where would move? With Mommy and Daddy

Who is your best friend? What do you like about him/her? Emma Grace and Elizabeth because all of their dresses are soooo beautiful.

What toy would you buy for your best friend's birthday? Strawberry Shortcakes

What do you want for your own birthday? A Playmobil House and Playmobil Water Park and purple robot and one of those Strawberry Shortcakes houses and another Veggie Tales song and a telescope.

What family rule do you think is the most unfair? Why? I don't like all the rules. I like to stand on the table.

I want to read your kid's interviews! Grab the button at the top and link up!

Ooh La La

2011-10-02T14:47:00.000-04:00

Stylin' in the new dress Grammy made. Sarah Hazel referred to it as her "yarn dress".

This Is What A Real Meltdown Looks Like

2011-09-28T20:07:00.002-04:00

Every Thursday I wake up to the same moans and groans from Sarah Hazel because she does not want to go to school. She whines and wimpers about how she's too tired, her tummy hurts, her knees hurt, she just wants to stay home and play with Mommy and her toys. Usually I ignore the excuses and tell her that she has to go and it will be fun. We talk about all the fun things she is going to do and talk about what friends will be there. Typically I do not drop her off, but if I do, she continues to whine about it until she gets to the door.

A couple weeks ago she started in with her usual excuses. I assured her that her knees were fine, she would feel better after her food settled, yada, yada. After a few minutes of silence she burst into tears. Uncontrollable sobs actually. It reminded me of the criminals on CSI or Law and Order who break down as they confess to a murder. That kind of no holds, real true from the gut sobbing. Anyhow...as she's crying her little eyes out she tells me "I already do that stuff they do. It's for babies". More tears. Then "Nobody wants to sit with me at the table". Then more tears. Aha! The truth comes forth! She's bored and having a hard time with friends.

Unfortunately, I don't think there's a lot I can do about that. It's preschool. The main reason we send her is to learn how to interact with other kids and adults and to get some playtime away from home.

I did not tell the teachers about her little breakdown. Instead I chose to ask them if she was doing ok and seemed to be enjoying herself. They replied that she was fine, other than her typical monotone hum and a little three year old fit here and there.

Our schedule works out so that grandparents take her and pick her up from school on Tuesdays. John takes her on Thursdays, then I pick her up. Nana and G-Daddy say she is happy when they pick her up. Daddy says she is happy when he drops her off. When I pick her up she is usually happy to see me but as soon as we get in the car she becomes grumpy and argumentative with me for much of the remainder of the day and it's getting worse.

Last week, she started screaming and crying when I walked into the classroom. She rolled around on a rug in the back of the room mumbling something about she did not get to finish coloring the letter of the week. The thing is, she never even started coloring. I'm wondering if by the end of the preschool day her transitioning issues have kicked in full gear and she's not yet been able to get herself to the coloring table. I walk in and the sequence in her mind just got all whacked and discombobulated. Cause you know...she's got to have a pattern and sequence to whatever she sets her mind too. (excuse me while I rip my hair out). I leave the room and she quickly scribbles all over the picture just so it's complete. The teacher did tell me that they accidentally forgot to let her share her show and tell item and that she had gotten upset about it. We begin to leave and she flips out that I picked up her bags. She runs away from me and for a couple minutes I panic as I walk around the halls looking for my hysterical three year old. By the way, I'm carrying Cameron on my hip during this whole thing so I'm already one arm short. Finally I hear sobs behind a door in a stairwell. There she is shaking, with snot running down her sweaty pink face. "I can't get the door to stay open!" she yells at me. I help her get the door fixed and tell her lets go back and start over with her getting her own bags. We make it almost all the way before she collapses in the floor because she is upset that she cannot control the hallway. She tells me the people need to walk on the right sides and stop being so loud. My sweet friend who teaches there, comes out and tries to distract my kids with stickers which works for a couple minutes. I try once more to get my kids out- by this time my arm is shaking and burning from the weight of Cameron. We go down the quiet back staircase but she has yet one more meltdown because I did not hold the handrail. We get outside and she lays in the grass and flails wildly. I put Cameron in the car then come back to her and hold her tightly and stroke her hair. Finally....she relaxes and lets me carry her to the car.

Surely you didn't think it was over did you? As we drive off, the wail from the backseat starts again because I'm not driving in the direction she wants. She yells "go back" over and over. I don't. Instead I got to Chik-Fil-A and get myself a drink. She flips out because she doesn't want a drink and even though I tell her it's for me and not her, she refuses to believe me and keeps telling me not to get her a drink. I guess it should come as no surprise that the second we pull away from the drive thru she starts crying "I wanted a treat". No I didn't turn around. I drove and I cried my own tears. We pass the big water fountain in the pond but the timing was off so for the next hour all I hear is "water fountain...I have to go back".

Yesterday, was an odd Tuesday that I picked her up. I took my mom with me because I just knew if she saw Grammy, there would be no tears but only joy. I'm sad to report that it was pretty much the same. Last week the teacher told me about show and tell which I suspected was the trigger but did not know for sure until later than night when Sarah Hazel was calm and I asked her what made her so upset. She can tell you what upsets her but sometimes it takes hours or days before she can talk about it. Yesterday the teachers told me that she had held water in her mouth at the water fountain and it dribbled on her shirt. To her a tiny drop of water on her shirt feels like she just jumped into a pool with her clothes on. It's a sure way to trigger an SPD meltdown. Also someone sat on the letter F on the alphabet rug and she thought only she could sit on the letter F because she had just sat on it. No, she should not get to have the letter F all for herself but clearly a transitional issue occurred. When we walked in to get her, she was wallowing alone on the back rug while the other kids colored their letter of the week. She flipped out because once again, she had not colored hers. My mom had to go in and pick her up to get her out of the room. One of the teachers keeps repeatedly telling me that "it's all you". Funny since she goes to numerous activities in the same building and has never freaked out on me at those when I pick her up. Let's just say, it rubbed me the wrong way. Even if I am the reason she cries, why is she doing it?

The thing is with these meltdowns is that once her world gets out of sequence, she really feels it. That has been something that's been hard for others to understand about her. It's not being bratty. She truly cannot help it. If you ever take the moment to look at her face during these moments you will see fear in her eyes. She's not herself and she has no control. The ability to calm herself is gone. Whoever she is with needs to help her get back in sequence. She has a SPD diagnosis and is in therapy for possible auditory processing issues and/or hyperacusis. If the sight of her mama is setting her off, my radar goes off. Something is wrong. Something has put her in that fragile state of mind and she needs assistance and fast.

Tomorrow, Daddy will drop her off and I'll pick her up. I dread it but at the same time, I'm anxious to see what happens. I just don't know what I'm going to do if another meltdown happens. I feel like one of the teacher's is already defensive about it. I don't blame her for my child melting down, but I do need to know what started it so we can put some plans in action in how to help her the next time it occurs. I'm trying so hard to keep her experience as "normal" as possible but I have to remember neither of my kids are "normal" and it's ok. I can't always fit the circle in the square hole.

I'm sure this story is to be continued. I have a feeling our preschool woes are far from done.

Ain't Nothin Gonna Break My Stride

2011-09-25T14:45:00.001-04:00

Nobody's gonna slow me down

Oh no. I got to keep on moving.

I know that song is going to be stuck in your head now. You're welcome.

When He Really Lost His Words- A Look Back

2011-09-23T14:17:00.001-04:00

It's been 5 months since Cameron has gotten the official diagnosis, but as many of you know, his therapies began at least 6 months before that. He had had differences his whole little life but it wasn't until after that 12 month checkup that things changed for the worst. That's when he lost his words. By the 15 month check up, all words were gone. I used to think it was before 12 months that he lost his words but when I looked back on the calendar and notes I kept, I learned that I had been mistaken and indeed, it was after the 12 month vaccines.

Am I saying there is a connection? I simply just don't know. I'm not saying yes, but I'm not ruling out that it could have been the trigger for what was already lying in his body.

His first smile was before 2 months of age, his first laugh was just before 3 months. All very normal development. On January 29th, right after he turned 10 months, he crawled. On that same day he said "mama". His first word.

So what happened? Why did my babbling boy suddenly stop talking? He lovingly said mama, dada, hi, and bye and then it all just disappeared. Other than the ability to cry, my sweet baby had become silent. He had no way to communicate with me. He would not point or grunt. Nothing but frustrated cries.

He had already been diagnosed with his GI troubles before 12 months. Aside from the obvious issues there, I'd be lying if I said that I did not already know that something else was wrong. Something was always just a little off, yet I could not put my finger on it. Not until that day he stopped talking.

Like I said earlier, I have no idea if the vaccines are the trigger. I've read debate after debate on the subject and see both sides of the arguments. This morning as I sat in the waiting room for Sarah Hazel's therapy I spied an 8inch thick binder high up on a shelf. On it in big bold letters were the words "AUTISM VACCINE LINK". I curiously pulled it down and began flipping through the pages. Admittedly, I wanted to open it and see that yes, there was a link. I wanted something to blame all of this on so that I can stop wondering what happened, and especially so I can stop wondering if this is my fault. Of course it's no surprise that I did not find anything in that book other than unanswered questions about the link. No matter what your stance is on the subject, the fact is, nobody knows for sure.

Until those questions are answered and until the day there is cure, us mommies who are drafted into the Autism army have to keep fighting for what we love the most and not get bogged down by the things we can't do a thing about.

Just some extra notes....
I will leave comments on as long as everyone is respectful. Please understand that many moms of Autistic children have questioned the vaccine link for good reason. Language regression is not normal. If your child stops talking, please call your pediatrician or local early intervention agency.

Malingering?

2011-09-21T13:44:00.001-04:00

I wish I had some great big update but not a lot has changed. The therapist finally called me back yesterday and we had a lengthy discussion about some of the behaviors I am seeing in Sarah Hazel and how we both agree that she has some classic malingering issues. It's my understanding that children this young do not malinger, though high IQ children are the exception. Some of her favorite excuses are that she is tired, her knees hurt, no one likes her, etc... all in an attempt to get out of certain situations. Then she has a whole other set of behaviors she comes up with to act like she cannot hear or understand. I realize that all children come up with excuses at some point or another but her timing, consistency, and persistence is where the concern lies. Why does she feel the need to make up excuses if she does not want to do something? We never push her to do anything she does not want to do, except those mornings she argues with me about going to preschool. The therapist suggested that some of these behaviors are stemming from boredom. That actually makes a lot of sense to me because I do see a pattern in her behaviors. Sadly, I'm running out of ideas on what else to do with her that is "challenging". She is beginning to read so I'm hoping that once she masters that skill, a whole new world will be opened up to her and some of these boredom issues will be nixed.
As for the listening comprehension and auditory issues, it's still under investigation with the SLP.

His New Obsession

2011-09-18T21:08:00.001-04:00

Letter Tracing, Teach Me Kindergarten, Angry Birds Rio, Toca Boca......he's obsessed. When he begins to cry in the middle of the night, he will often whisper sweetly in my ear "iPad" or "Rios". How can I resist that? Even at 3am. Judge all you want, but that wonderful piece of technology has allowed me to get a little extra sleep the past few nights ;) Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do just to function. I'm not sure what the connection is with Autism and not sleeping but it's about to kill us.

Auditory Processing Evaluations: Part One

2011-09-16T13:48:00.001-04:00

I wanted to post this on Wednesday but our life is so chaotic that I never got a chance until now. Sorry for the delay!

Wednesday was the day that started the investigation process into figuring out just what is really going on with Sarah Hazel. The SLP we met with was very knowledgeable about IQ scoring and interested to see how our previous testing might be playing into the problems we are encountering. She took Sarah Hazel into her office while I sat in a closed room with a video monitor so I could see what was happening inside the SLP's office. Not surprisingly, Sarah Hazel chatted away about everything under the sun from riding an airplane to the beach to the story of how we got a new minivan. She was asked to draw pictures of circles, crosses, and people which she happily did while humming. The SLP gave her a snack and Sarah Hazel kept chatting away. Finally, the therapist told her that it was time for her to tell a story. She pulled out a picture book and told Sarah Hazel a very brief story about all the things going on in the pictures. She then asked her to tell her back the story and for the first time, there was silence. Sarah Hazel did not know what to say. The SLP prompted her a little which worked somewhat but all Sarah Hazel could do was say one word answers in a silly babyish whisper. The therapist leaned over to the camera and told me that it was interesting considering how chatty she had been before. Indeed it was. Did she not hear the story or was she just being goofy? The SLP then gave her the PPVT, which is a vocabulary test that apparently correlates to IQ. I watched in amazement as Sarah Hazel happily breezed through the pages, not only pointing to the correct answers but adding descriptions to them as well. The therapist leaned over to the camera again and informed me that they were entering into the 8 year old age equivalent portion of the test. She ended the testing somewhere past the 10 year old age equivalency. After the PPVT, they played an alphabet game on the computer and then Sarah Hazel got to pick two prizes from the treasure box, a beaded necklace and a blow up fish. Unfortunately, the SLP had her next patient waiting so we were unable to talk much about the evaluation. She did tell me that Sarah Hazel's IQ is likely much higher than what testing revealed last winter and that we need to continue to keep her challenged. I told her I did not know what else I can do to which she responded that she would be able to help me with that.
I still don't know what is going on with her auditory processing but I do know that as far as her abilities, we are dealing with much more than we first thought. Her inability to understand what is sometimes asked of her during testing only dumbs down the score which means that even now, her scores are probably not as high as what she is really capable of. I was already overwhelmed and frightened about what this will mean for her when she gets to school, but now I'm even more afraid. If she does indeed have a learning disability on top of all of this, I hate to think of what might happen. I'm not entirely positive that traditional schooling is the right place for the twice exceptional visual-spatial learner. We think we have plenty of time to figure it out, but if we wish to send her to pre-k, the registration is in January. The year after that she starts kindergarten and will be 3 months shy of 6 years of age. Surely, you can see where I'm coming from with my fears.

Hopefully, the SLP will call back today. If she has any extra info, I'll add an update later.

Sometimes The Brain Can't Hear

2011-09-12T13:43:00.000-04:00

If you've been around here long enough, you know we aren't sure what "normal" is. When we jump one hurdle, a new one keeps popping up. It's like the bad dream where you run and run and never get anywhere. Everytime I have that dream, I have a bum foot that drags when I run which slows me down even more. Not that my bum foot dream has anything to do with this post.

Anyways....as I was saying; we don't know normal, we don't do normal, we probably wouldn't know it if it hit us upside the head.

I got really excited when Cameron graduated feeding therapy last week. Of course I was excited for the obvious reasons- eating more foods, not choking, gaining weight, etc... but I was also excited for myself. Excited that I finally was going to have one less therapy to shuttle a child too. We were one step closer to doing what the normal folks do.

It seemed to good to be true.

Thursday afternoon I finally got the call I'd been waiting almost a month for. A speech therapist (SLP) was calling to talk to me about my concerns for Sarah Hazel. Why she cannot recall stories read to her, why she has so much trouble understanding and following directions, why she seems to be deaf sometimes, why she stammers when she is trying to get her thoughts out, and why her listening comprehension IQ is close to 50 points below her visual IQ.

The SLP affirmed that my concerns are serious and that she needs to be evaluated right away. We had a long talk about how the issues I listed as well as so many others, including her SPD, fit into being a gifted child. For those of you who think giftedness is all roses and rainbows, let me tell you it's not. It's not at all uncommon for these kids to have serious learning disabilities and behavioral issues. It's called Twice Exceptional (2E). If you don't believe me, here's an entire page all about it.

The evaluation will likely last over several one hour sessions, with the first being this Wednesday. The SLP said children at Sarah Hazel's age (3 yr 10 mo) are usually not tested for Auditory processing issues until at least 6 but she may be the exception to their rule. The initial evaluation will tell us if more in depth testing is needed for something like Auditory Processing Disorder.

I've known for awhile that something was going on with her, even if other people haven't noticed it. Besides the fact that I am her mom and know her better than anyone, I think I've also acquired some sort of special needs mom radar that detects when development is just a little off kilter not only in my own kids, but others too. It stinks to have to accept the fact that she may indeed have a real learning disability but I'm anxious to get her the help she needs so we can move forward.

See....I told you it was too good to be true!

The Big J's- Justification and Judgement

2011-09-09T13:34:00.000-04:00

Lately, I have heard more than one friend and several moms on online forums talk about how they feel the need to justify their decisions. I often find myself in that same spot feeling like I need an explanation for the way things are done in my home, the choices we make, and why my kids act a certain way.

It's tiresome.

If anything in our life is just a tiny bit off mainstream, why is it that we feel the need to justify it? Is it because we immediately feel like we have to protect our children and the beliefs so close to our heart? Or is is because we really are attacked repeatedly? Or both?

I'm going to say it's a combination of both. I find myself coming up with excuses for my choices before I've even mentioned a word to anyone. Why am I so defensive? A lot of that stems from being attacked previously. It's a vicious cycle, isn't it? It's really a shame that moms have to be on guard all of the time and can't just live the way they want without judgement.

I'd be lying if I told you that I have never been the judger. I'm guessing we've all been in those shoes at some time or another. When you see the mom with the tantrum having kid in the store and you just wish she'd get control of her child already, when you can't understand why anyone in their right mind they would choose to homeschool, when you gossip about how you think another mom needs to raise her family- it's judgemental. Like I said, I've been there. It did not matter how much justification those other moms gave me for their choices, I still judged them because I was right and they were wrong.

Oh boy, is Autism a kick in the rear or what? Once you become the mom of THAT child you find yourself no longer judging but instead feel everyone else doing it to you. It's so intense sometimes, you can just feel it even though the other person never said a word.

This is where the justification comes into play. I constantly need to justify why we can't do the same things as typical families, why my kids are disciplined the same, why, why, why. If I come up with a reason the judger finally accepts, they'll be my friend and support me. Right? Probably not. Some people really do need a powerful thing like Autism to kick them in the butt for them to get it.

In a perfect world, we all respect and support one another. We offer a helping hand to our struggling friends and we give them loving, helpful advice. We think their children are beautiful, because they really are. God doesn't make mistakes.

The Graduate

2011-09-07T13:09:00.001-04:00

Cameron is done with feeding therapy!!!! He initially started individual feeding therapy about a year ago and then 12 weeks ago he was placed into a special feeding group. Our main goal was for him to see other kids eating, then mimic what they were doing. During the first session, he did exactly what we wanted and ate foods he would not touch if he were at home. Over the next 12 weeks, he continued to mimic and develop a love for some new textures and tastes. At the beginning of therapy he was weighed 26 pounds and would only eat about 8 different foods on a good day. Now he's just under the 30 pound mark and has a whole new set of things he enjoys to eat. Hummus, guacamole, pepperoni sticks, veggie puffs, cucumbers, bananas, apricots, soy yogurt, are just some of the things he now loves. He is no longer choking, pocketing, and gagging on foods and has learned to take the right size bites.

I realize that our freedom from feeding therapy may not last. He does still have quite a bit of issues, especially with focusing on eating but I'm hoping that as he begins to adventure closer to preschool age, that he will grow out of some of these behaviors. Our fabulous speech therapist is also the feeding therapist so she will be keeping a close eye on him to see if we need to start individual sessions again. I know she does want to work with him on drinking from an open cup so that is ongoing.

One step at time. One step closer.

Today we shall celebrate!

ooo-ooo-ooo, I'm on Fire

2011-09-06T13:52:00.000-04:00

Lizbeth at Four Sea Stars decided to put a fire under my butt and award me with the Blog On Fire Award. The rule is, you have to list 7 things that readers do not already know about you. Then pass on the flame to some other lucky blogger.

1. I'd rather be laying in the grass stargazing. It's better than a fancy dinner or a movie. It's better than sleep or a good book. It's the one place I can go and stare into a place with an end I can't even fathom. It's perfection not flawed by man.

2. I do not have a real life best girlfriend. I have lots of really good friends but not that one person I can call at anytime to talk too. It does get lonely but I'm not in a place right now where I can nurture a friendship anyways.

3. I still listen to my old Debbie Gibson and Paula Abdul tapes (ok, now I have upgraded to CD).

4. I like to be part of some sort of Bible based study year round and hate the in between time waiting for another to start up. They keep me in tune.

5. I am wearing glitter nail polish right now...on my own accord. My daughter did not paint my nails, thank you very much.

6. Every time I hear Neil Young, I start having phantom labor pains. We used to listen to this live Neil Young concert nearly every night the last month I was pregnant with Sarah Hazel. It's peaceful and painful all at the same time.

7. I'm a Junior League drop out. Have I mentioned that before? It turned out to be everything I was afraid it was going to be.

So who's the next blogger in line?

Oh, Kimberly at Stinker Pinkers.......where are you?! It's your lucky day.

Home

2011-09-05T09:06:00.000-04:00

I woke up early this labor day morning to the pitter patter of rain drops on the roof. I smiled at the thought that for one day, we have no therapy appointments to attend. Nothing to do. Nothing but to just sit and enjoy each other at home. Our home is our sanctuary where we can escape from the rest of the world and just enjoy being us. It's peace. It's love. It's protection. Even in our toughest times, sweet moments can always be found in our home. Sweet moments like these....

Thankful.

Innards Everywhere Part Two

2011-09-02T15:39:00.000-04:00

The other day I posted a picture of Sarah Hazel in the process of putting together a human body model. I had painted and glued all of the parts beforehand and then we worked together to assemble the final product. She LOVED looking at all the parts and talking about them. Actually, she liked it a little too much. Now all she wants to do with me is talk about what is inside our bodies and look at her "body books". It's cute, kind of funny, but also really strange. Since when do preschoolers get a kick out of talking about red blood cells and how many muscles are in the eye?

I bought her these books to somewhat satisfy her curiosity. The one on the right is a coloring book. I can barely get her to color in a book with unicorns and fairies but give her body parts and she goes to town.

We've watched a couple episodes of The Magic School Bus that involves field trips into the human body. Other than that, I've had little luck at finding any other kid friendly and appropriate video material. I think I might try and find her some human body science kits but other than that, what else is there? I'm open to any suggestions you have. You know, just in case you have a preschooler who also happens to be anatomy obsessed. Anyone, anyone?

Here's the finished product and one happy little girl.

Question of the day....

So, what "weird" learning phases has your child been into?

I Don't Understand Boys

2011-09-01T15:24:00.001-04:00

I've had this realization recently that it's not just my boy, but all boys enjoy beating the crap out of each other.

WHY?!?!

It seems like every time Cameron is with another kid around his age, without a doubt someone is going to get pushed. Because Cameron does have the tendency to push boys and girls without reason, I just assumed he was the instigator all of the time.

I was wrong.

Let's just go ahead and remove the girls from this since 9.99 times out of 10, they are not the instigators.

I have started watching the other boys. Noticing that a good chunk of the time, they are just as guilty as Cameron. They sneakily smack at him, take a toy for him, or give him a one handed push. Then Cameron retaliates with his infamous full force double handed push that always knocks the other kid down.

What am I supposed to do when he retaliates? Especially when the other boys just keep on at him? Usually after he pushes them, they stay away but a few come back for more.

Today a little boy not that much smaller or different in maturity, swatted at Cameron a few times and took his car away. After the little boy kept pushing him, Cameron turned around and knocked him back...hard. I apologized to the mom and she at first seemed okay like she is used to the boy roughness. Then the mom asked how old Cameron was. I told her and she got this shocked look and said with disgust "oh, my son is ONLY 18 months. I thought yours was young too since he was pushing like that."

I really wanted to pull the Autism card but I couldn't. In all honesty, I don't know if the pushing is a boy thing or an Autism thing or both. I do scold him for his actions but he doesn't understand. Disciplining a child with a receptive lag is like talking to a wall.

Cameron does have a lot of innocent victims but instead of just assuming he's always the one starting the ruckus, I'm going to watch the interactions a little closer. I'm just not sure what to do when the other kid starts hitting first and the mom doesn't seem to care until my kid hits hers.

I never pushed another kid and I didn't grow up with a brother so I'm a bit naive to some of these boy behaviors!

Innards Everywhere

2011-08-31T10:21:00.001-04:00

This is my kid's idea of a "real good time". She's 3 and a half.

Close Up Cuteness

2011-08-30T10:32:00.000-04:00

I love those little dirty boy feet =)

Reminder: Don't forget to check out what's been happening in Tot School!

Crazy People and Fanny Packs = Awesomeness

2011-08-29T12:44:00.000-04:00

Finally we had a successful outing!!! Friends of Tennessee's Babies with Special Needs gave all of the TEIS families tickets to the Smokey's baseball game. It was soooo nice to be able to go to a place where there were tons of other kids with special needs and parents who all understood each other. At last, both of my kids were able to be in a public place where it was okay to be loud and different.

We were given vouchers for free hot dogs, chips, and drinks which we attempted to eat in our ticketed seats. Cameron had a really hard time being contained so as soon as we finished our food we headed over to the playgroud. They have a playground inside the stadium! How cool is that?! The majority of the kids over there were with the same group we were with so once again, I wasn't terribly worried about behaviors. There was, however, a CRAZY...like really really crazy mom (not with the special needs group) who was super hovering over her 5 year oldish kid. Now keep in mind, the playground is like 95% special needs kids and none of the parents were hovering, yet this one crazy lady was. It was so annoying and bad that it was kind of funny. Everytime the little girl would try to work her way through the play structure, the crazy mom would rudely announce her arrival with "Excuse me! She needs to get through". Kind of like how you might announce a princess walking into a room. She was telling kids to hurry up and move like she was a traffic cop. Not only did she yell at the other kids but the poor daughter was yelled at non-stop to use her manners. Like I said, it was so bad it was funny.

There was also Dad on the playground sporting a Disney fanny pack. Yes people, a fanny pack. Who still wear those things? When Cameron saw it, he made a beeline to him and excitedly starting pawing at it. The Dad was nice to him and kind of held it out for Cameron to get a closer look. Then he quietly walked away. Cameron followed. The Dad laughed a little and tried again to politely walk away. Cameron followed and followed and followed. Seriously dude, if you wear a fanny pack in public, you deserve to have my Autistic kid follow you around in awe. At least he was nice.

Soccer Sensory Overload Part 2

2011-08-26T15:51:00.000-04:00

Last night's soccer practice was another disaster. So much so that I cried as I drove home. Not because I was mad at her for not participating but because something is clearly wrong and I have no idea how to help her. We finally got her (and ourselves) to a point where the three of us could talk about it what happened. John asked her what her favorite part is about soccer to which she replied that she likes to kick the ball in the goal and she also likes to play with one of the girls. Here's the thing, she won't have anything to do with the other girls so the fact that she talks about enjoying playing with one of them confuses me. We finally asked her why she wanted to run away from soccer practice and if something scared her. She pouted a little bit then said "Cause the other girls won't want to be my friend". Say what?! Where did she EVER learn that someone might not want to be her friend and why is she even thinking about it? She's 3.5 and in my eyes, way too young for such a heavy concern of girls not wanting to be her friend. I'm baffled by her admission and am not sure how to help her understand that her thoughts are just not true.

I do still think we are dealing with some auditory processing issues. Her humming is back in full force and her listening comprehension has hit an all time low. I'm still waiting on the call that our insurance has approved the evaluation for her so that I can take her in to meet with an SLP and Audiologist.

I'm also thinking about putting her back in OT and being seen again by the psychiatrist but I want to wait and see if attending two days of preschool helps her and what the results of the auditory testing are.

I did finally find an article addressing the issue of the gifted visual-spatial learner with auditory processing deficits. It makes me feel better knowing that it's not unheard of for there to be a connection.

In the meantime, we're trying to keep our patience with this whole situation with both of our kids. We're tired, confused, and hitting our breaking points. All of us.

At least I have my storm watching to keep my mind off things a little. I have a little extra interest in this one since my sister is in NYC and in the path. To all of you in it's way, stay safe!

Just Another Day- Just Another Hurdle

2011-08-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

Cameron's tiny hands shook as he raised the little cup to his lips. Instead of putting his little lips firmly on the edge of the cup, he stuck his whole mouth in. As he raised it, peach nectar went all down his chin and soaked his green and white striped polo shirt.

He began to cry more and more with each failed attempt at drinking from his open cup. Each time met with more peach nectar soaking into his shirt and finally onto his little khaki shorts.

At one point I hear him suck a big gulp into his lungs. One big crocodile tear strolled down his face and he shouted out "mommy". My heart broke in a million pieces as I watched him struggle with something that comes so easy for most kids.

I tried to help him but the angle was all wrong and the nectar went up his nose.

His sweet speech therapist came around and helped him hold his cup as she snuggled him close and gently kissed the top of his head. Without a doubt, she loves him as much as he loves her.

Finally he began to regain a little control and was able to finish his drink with assistance.

Oh how far he has come, but I can't forget just how much further he has to go. Everyday I wake up thinking how easy it would be to just skip out on therapies and quit it all. I'm tired. I'm burnt out. But it's not about or for me. We gotta keep truckin'.

Pour Your Heart Out: Preschool Inclusion

2011-08-24T09:30:00.000-04:00

Last night I put Cameron on the waiting list for a one day a week spot at the same preschool Sarah Hazel attends twice a week. It would stretch us financially, but I just want to do something "normal" with him. Even if a spot opens up and I do decide to enroll him, will it be a normal experience?

Will the teachers love him like the rest of the kids or will they come to dread that one day a week knowing that might have to use a little more muscle and make a few extra accommodations?

I've heard other mama's complain about having an autistic child in the same room as their neurotypical child. Will they complain about my child?

Am I going to be scolded again if I don't plaster his dietary restrictions on everything and tell everyone that he can only have certain foods? Will they make sure he's not eating off another child's plate or drinking from their sippy cup?

I know that he will push other kids. Does it make me selfish for still wanting to put him in a regular preschool program?

Will he get kicked out?

I have good reasons for wanting to do this. I want him to hear other kids talking. I want him to see kids going to the potty. I want him to see how other's emotions and reactions. I want him to have friends.

Luckily I already know two of the mama's and their kids that are in the class Cameron would go into. One of the little boys is Cameron's best pal on Sunday mornings and his mom is very excited about the thought of Cameron joining the class. The other little boy has an older brother on the spectrum and a mom who has been a sweet supportive friend through all of this. They understand. Thank God for women like that.

Teachable Moments

2011-08-22T11:38:00.000-04:00

A couple months ago, I ran across the idea on one of my favorite blogs (Sorta Crunchy) to build a fairy house. As we built it, we talked about what each little bit of nature was that we had collected. It was the most precious one on one time that I hope I never forget. Yes, the bugs bit us and the sun blazed down on our backs but we were too busy in the moment to notice all of that.

This morning, my fellow pre-schooling at home friend Jennifer posted to her Facebook Status "Every home is a school. What are you teaching?". Teachable moments happen all day and night. It's our job as parents to take advantage of those moments and guide our little ones. Teaching is not just about workbooks and educational videos. Teachable moments are there when your child asks how many legs an ant has, why the moon is so high in the sky, who makes it rain. Take advantage of those moments and you may find that you enjoy them just as much as your child.

So what are you teaching?

Here are some pictures of the fairy house. I love the sweet innocence!

Soccer Sensory Overload

2011-08-19T13:01:00.001-04:00

Sarah Hazel has finally hit that magical age where we get to sign her up for ~~dis~~organized sports. A couple weeks ago was cheerleading camp: a surprising success. Last night was her first soccer practice: a not so surprising semi failure. We practiced at home, we even took her to pick out her own soccer gear. I had a loooooong talk with her yesterday about how she would have coaches to listen to and teammates to play with. She seemed excited and ready to take on this new adventure.

All of the little girls sat down in a circle I could see within 14 seconds that she was already fading into lala land. In no time she had found the soccer balls and was off doing her own thing while the other girls sat and listened to the rules. I went to her several times and asked if something was wrong to which she replied "no, soccer is fun!". I told her to sit with her team or we would have to leave but I could tell something wasn't right with her. She knew, and I knew that no matter how hard she tried to sit and listen, she just was not gonna be able to do it. There were too many noises, too many movements, too much openness, for her to focus. When the team lined up to kick balls from one line to another and then into the goal, she went back and happily participated but as soon as they gathered back in a group to talk again and pass out stickers, she backed away to go do her thing. She talked to other parents and older kids. She even walked up to one of the coaches and started talking to him.

She's not shy. She's not embarrassed. She is not lacking in confidence. In fact, she's a social little lady who would gladly do a song and dance routine in the middle of the mall if I'd let her. She just cannot focus on voices in certain settings.

We've been through OT for SPD and I thought we had it under control, but clearly there are still some sensory issues with noise. My biggest concern though, is her listening comprehension. She cannot recall stories read to her during story times unless its one on one and lots of questions are asked to keep her on her toes. If she is engrossed in something, she often does not hear her name being called. We have to repeat things to her over and over to get her to do it. She still hums as she concentrates. She cannot read using phonics but I can show her a sight word and she can memorize it. She stammers a lot during conversation like her mind is working faster than she can process how to get the words out. We know she's smart and we know her visual scores are through the roof but her auditory scores were significantly lower. So much so that it was noted on her evaluation to keep an eye on her development in that area. I have and instead of it getting better, I feel like she is getting worse and having a harder and harder time focusing and listening. It's time to address the issue with an audiologist and see what we can do to help her. I don't want to make the call today because the last thing I want in this house in another "special need" but I have too.

I can't sit back and watch her play soccer alone while the team huddles together.

Pour Your Heart Out: Coming Out With My Parenting Beliefs

2011-08-17T14:06:00.001-04:00

For more great PYHO posts across the web, click the link above!

I know many of my dear friends and readers will be turned off once they figure out this is a post about my parenting beliefs because many of us do not see eye to eye. I respect your well thought out choices and support you on them as long as you do the same for me. There is no right or wrong answer on this stuff! I don't frown down on anyone who has educated themselves on these topics and makes the decision based on what feels right for them. I am simply sharing all of this because it is important to me and I feel like because this blog sometimes addresses topics that aren't always the mainstream, then people need to know where I'm coming from.

It's funny how becoming a mama can totally change your perspective, your beliefs, your attitude, and your confidence. Being a special needs mom has intensely deepened all of that as well, especially in the confidence area. Raising a child with Autism is not for the weak. Over these past almost 4 years, I have found myself and realized I had these beliefs deep inside me being suffocated by what I thought I was supposed to do, supposed to be, and supposed to believe. The shield between my deep beliefs and the way I thought I was supposed to raise my kids began to crack with every cry from my child as I let them cry it out, every time I was told to just give my kids formula, every shot stuck into my child, every conversation telling me a c-section was wonderful and the only way to go. It's not that I am necessarily against any of the mainstream beliefs but I have found that many of them just plain don't feel good or right with me.

As my kids began to grow from newborns to infants to toddlers and now preschoolers, the parenting beliefs I had learned from society over the past few years have gone to the wayside...without guilt. I no longer believe that crying it out is the only option for getting a child to sleep. I regret that I let the upfront expense get in the way of my dreams to cloth diaper. I let go of the shame I felt because of others reaction to me breastfeeding my child well over a year and breastfeeding while pregnant. While I don't see myself ever not having a hospital birth, I have learned that there are other options that for many moms that would be more fitting if they only knew the options were there. I have learned that it's okay to grieve the loss of a birth experience because you had the c-section you never wanted. It's also okay to say no to an epidural and silently laugh to yourself when people say women who refuse the epidural are crazy (and for the record, I've not even had an epidural free child birth). I've learned it does not at all mean you are insane because you want to feel the raw natural pain of childbirth. On the flipside, I've also learned that I could no longer manage my own pain during childbirth and it's okay that I could not go med free. I learned that letting my baby sleep beside me the first year of his life did not make him so attached to me that he would never be able to sleep alone in his own bed. He loves his crib. I felt pain in my heart as my crying children lay on the pediatrician's table getting vaccinated. I also felt confusion as to why I felt forced to vaccinate my kids, even when our gentle doctor gave us the choice. Actually, I'm still confused and unsure about vaccinations. I have learned that I do not feel right about giving my children food that has no proof of being beneficial to their diet. I have had to realize that no matter how hard I try to monitor what goes into my children's digestive system, someone is always going to give them something I don't approve of and there isn't a whole lot I can do to stop it. I have grown a thick shell in regards to other's complete disregard and disrespect of our choices of what we feed our kids. I have learned that there are numerous options for education and the only one that is right, is the one that fits your family. I finally accepted that not everyone wants to spend as much time with their kids as I want to spend with mine, and that is okay too. Early on in my life, God put the desire strong in my heart to be at home and lead my children. I have learned that I had to give up more than I could have imagined in order to stay at home. I quickly realized that doing Tot School at home with my daughter is one of the greatest experiences I have ever had. There is nothing like watching your child learn about God and the world around her, especially when you get to be the teacher. I know people think I push her but they could not be farther from the truth. She pushes me and she makes me a better mom everyday. I have learned that alternative medicine isn't of the devil and is often a better option for us. Having a child with Autism forces you to think and seek all options because there is no cure. I have learned that it is up to the parents to educate themselves and make the decisions for their family and to stand firm on them. I have finally come to the realization that I have a choice and need to stop letting other's views cloud my own. I have also learned that no matter how hard I believe what I believe, someone will always try to drag me down and make me feel wrong. What's the greatest thing I have learned? That above all I must always remember God shows me what is right for our family. I believe in prayer, in Jesus as savior, and I believe the words of God. I believe that instinct we feel deep down inside is the Holy Spirit. No one can take that away.

I have been blessed to have found kindred spirits in real life, and through other blogs. These "crunchy Christian" ladies share similar beliefs and have been a great inspiration to me. Thank you friends for holding my hand and always supporting me. You know who you are.

Gentle Parenting Resources:
What Attachment Parenting is Not.
AP International Blog
Sorta Crunchy A blog about gentle Christian mothering.
Kelly Mom - Breastfeeding Support
Simple Kids
1+1+1=1 All about preschooling at home

Do you share similar views and have a blog you think I would love? Please send it to me!

Zzzzzzzz

2011-08-16T14:18:00.000-04:00

Cameron used to sleep easily for 17 hours a day. 17 HOURS! Honestly, I kind of felt like I wasn't getting a whole lot of time with him because it felt like the minute I got him up, he was ready to go back to bed. As he got older, it became more and more troublesome that he was not outgrowing the amount of sleep hours he required. We talked to Doctors and even did the sleep study but no one could come up with a good answer as to why he was needing to sleep so much. Autistic kids aren't exactly known for oversleeping so I think it just baffled everyone that Cameron was the exception.

We went on vacation a couple months ago and as expected, Cameron did not sleep well. What we did not expect however, was for him to keep up the ill sleeping habits once we got home. Gone is my champion sleeper now replaced by a child who no longer sleeps all night and naps all day. We began adding melatonin magic powder added to his nighttime routine, which was helping to keep him asleep a little better throughout the night but that has even stopped working. I guess I need to up the dose (???). Last night he went to bed around 7:30pm then woke up at 1:15am. He was wide eyed awake too so there was no immediate going back to sleep. I stayed with him until 4: 30am when he finally started showing signs of sleepiness. During those three hours I talked to him as he stroked my arms and petted my hair. He was being really sweet and gentle which makes it a tiny bit better I suppose.

His naps have also become shorter and shorter with some days barely even taking a nap at all.

I am already a pro at all of this sleeping and lack of sleeping business having been through two colicky infants. I know all the tips and tricks and things to try to get a child to go to sleep. However, there must be something about the Autistic brain that gets confused when it comes to sleep so that is where my knowledge of getting kids to sleep stops. I'm at a loss on how to get Cameron back into a healthy sleep routine. I'm not asking for 17 hours a day again but 10 would be nice. I really hope he isn't following the footsteps of his sister and gives up naps before his third birthday. Mama needs his naptime!

Please don't forget to enter the giveaway in the post below. Entering is easy!

Giveaway!

2011-08-15T12:28:00.002-04:00

Comment #11 is the winner. Congrats Annie!

Do you have a special photo you would like to see blown up on a rolled canvas? If so, today is your lucky day because the folks at UPrinting.com are graciously allowing me to host a giveaway for one 16"x20" rolled canvas print! The finished print, with your choice of a 2 inch border or no border will be shipped out for free one business day after you easily upload your photo of choice. How easy is that?!

Ready to enter? Follow these simple steps...

1. Please check out UPrinting.com and see all of the fabulous products they have to offer. For all of you bloggers wanting to promote at conferences, check out the business cards and magnets!

2. Leave your email address once in the comment section.

3. For extra entries, follow UPrinting on Twitter and Facebook . Make sure to come back here and leave one separate comment for each.

Rules:
Valid entries will be accepted until Sunday August 21st, 2011 at 11:59 pm. A winner will be chosen at random and contacted via email. Once contacted, the winner has 48 hours to respond or else a new winner will be chosen at random. This giveaway is only open to US residents 18 and over. If you have won a product from UPrinting,com in the past 30 days, you may not enter.

Disclaimer

This canvas printing giveaway is sponsored by UPrinting, no monetary compensation was given for hosting. Check out UPrinting.com for more details about canvas sizes.

The Hyperlexic Monster

2011-08-13T11:09:00.000-04:00

hy·per·lex·ia definition

Pronunciation: /-ˈlek-sē-ə/
: precocious reading ability accompanied by difficulties in acquiring language and social skills

I know Cameron does not understand the majority of the words he reads, but his ability to read never fails to fascinate me. I found a box of 68 sight word flash cards in the Target dollar isle and bought them for him to play with. I know it's not a typical toy but his favorite thing in the whole world is letters and numbers. Some kids love trains, some love Elmo, but Cameron loves words. I found numbers and letters bedding at IKEA but decided the poor child would probably never fall asleep because he would be so busy obsessively staring at the symbols around him. It would be just a little too exciting.

Back to the sight word flashcards....

I knew that they were going to be well loved on, more than any stuffed animal, so I laminated them. I sat down with him and showed him the stack of words. He smiled and twitched with excitement as he began calling out the words on the cards. I made a little game for him by lining up the cards then asking him to be "all done" with a certain word. "All done" has always been a sign and phrase that he responds well too. As I said "all done yellow" he handed me yellow. "All done big". Once again, he hands me the correct card. He also likes for me to line them up and say a word so he can point to it. When he's had enough of proving to me for the millionth time that yes he really can read, he picks them up and throws them all around him over and over and over. It's his happy place.

His reading ability may be cute and fascinating now, but I wonder how it's going to affect him as he gets older. At what point will he comprehend? Will he ever understand the connection between spoken and written word?

For more information about Hyperlexia, please check out these resources:
Wikipedia definition of Hyperlexia
Hyperlexia Facts

Dread

2011-08-11T10:11:00.001-04:00

It's the time of year when "Back to School" seems to be plastered everywhere. TV, storefronts, blogs, conversations with friends....you really can't get away from it. The phrase "Back to School' turns my stomach. It makes my heart beat a little faster in my chest and leaves a burning lump in throat as I fight back tears. I hate that phrase.

Why?

Because I dread the day I watch my kids walk off into a big building spending the bulk of their day being guided by someone else, learning things about life that they may not be ready to learn about, being in a place where no one prays or teaches them that the most important thing of all is to glorify God. It sickens me to think of them lumped in one big group and not being individuals; they will be just another kid. Kids are mean and I fear that my kids will be the brunt of many jokes because both of them will need Special Ed. services.

It's obvious why Cameron will need the extra help but what you may not realize is that Sarah Hazel will receive an IEP for services as well. Being gifted presents it's own set of problems that many people have no idea about. Problems that at times are just as hard to deal with as Cameron's Autism. But those who can't get past the word 'gifted' will never see that it's not what it's cracked up to be. There is a reason that in Tennessee it can be classified as a disability.

I don't want to have my children pulled away from me for 30 something hours a week. I chose to be a stay at home mom so I could be with them and guide them. I don't feel that should stop when a child reaches school age.

It would be easy for someone to say I'm being over protective but if you think that is the only reason I dread traditional school, then you aren't really reading and thinking through everything I wrote.

Maybe if we could find the right school and the right fit ahead of time I would not have this dread consume me.

I know the majority of you will disagree with me. In real life it seems like everyone is so anxious to send their kids off to school and I've often wondered what is wrong with me that I do not have that excitement building up in me for the time my kids are old enough to go to school? Why am I constantly sickened over the thought? Maybe by the time August 2013 rolls around I'll be ready to ship the first one off, but for some reason I have a feeling the dread will still be there.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-10T08:09:00.002-04:00

Your Questions Answered- because sometimes I forget to update

2011-08-09T07:00:00.013-04:00

Princess Amysaid... I'm curious to know the results of the sleep study... did they find anything?

Thanks for asking Amy! No one ever addressed the results of the sleep study with us so I assume all is ok. We did see a neurologist a few months ago who wanted to do another EEG but we ended up cancelling since it had not been that long since the first one and well, that first one was a real nightmare to get through. The idea is still on the table on whether or not to pursue a different neurologist who is willing to start from scratch and look at the issues from all angles. I'm afraid that will likely require us to go out of network on our insurance and we're not sure we are ready for all of the expenses that may come along with that.

**********************************************************************************

For all the questions about the Celiac and allergy testing:

The allergy testing came back within normal limits now now we are trying to find out how to go about getting insurance to pay for igG testing which will give us a better idea of just what all his intolerances are (besides the obvious). After the ordeal with his veins repeatedly blowing, they were still 1 cc short on blood for the genetic test for Celiac Disease. We are actually going in today to have the test repeated and John will go with me to help hold him down (it takes 3 people!). Sarah Hazel will be with family so she won't be traumatized again. If he does not test positive for the gene then we are possibly dealing with gluten intolerance and hopefully will have more ammunition for getting the igG testing. Our dietitian spoke with me the other day about how it may be time for us to have another meeting and try a more hardcore elimination diet so we'll start that sometime after we get a better idea of where we are headed next.

The Kid Can Draw

2011-08-08T19:58:00.001-04:00

Sarah Hazel has a new obsession. Drawing. She will spend hours making detailed pictures with a story that goes along with them. Maps, beach scenes, rooms, and people in action seem to be her favorite themes to draw. The other day she drew me a "story" about little girl who went to the water tower (???) to meet her mom but the mom wasn't there so the girl got sad and called her Daddy and then sat down and ate a pretzel. Did you catch all that?

She said this one was a party with her friends at the beach condo. They are all sitting on the sofa or laying in beds, except Daddy on the far left. He's the big one standing up holding Cameron.

These are all of her family playing in the waves. I'm the one in the middle holding Cameron and falling over. A seashell is in my other hand.

A very odd almost normal kind of day

2011-08-05T13:49:00.002-04:00

"What is a tambourine made of?", and then a few minutes later she asks, "What's inside of a coconut?". That was how my day started. I figured it was just gonna be another long crazy day full of meltdowns and weird questions that would require me to keep Google pulled up all day so I could find a quick answer. But so far today, I've been wrong.

Normalcy doesn't happen in our house (I'm sure you've figured that out by now) but today has had a nice somewhat normal neurotypical flow to it. .

I took Sarah Hazel with us to therapy this morning, which I usually will not do because she kind of gets in the way of what Cameron needs to be focusing on. We got out of the car without a fuss and began to walk in. As if on cue, the fire alarm went off just as we stepped through the double doors. Talk about a grand entrance! Everyone was immediately ushered outside to the parking lot until the rehab center could figure out what was going on. A bunch of special needs toddlers in a hot parking lot sounds like a recipe for disaster but not a single child melted down. Not one! The fire truck shows up which provided good entertainment for the kids while the fire fighters looked for the cause of the alarm. After it was determined to be a false alarm we went back inside for Cameron's OT session. He did great and more amazingly, Sarah Hazel minded her own business and did not try to steal the show from Cameron. She did have that one "odd" moment where she started telling everyone which compass direction they were walking in.

I decided that since my kids were being unusually normal, then maybe we would try and do something a little extra. In the past we've had good success of avoiding meltdowns in Borders Books so I figured we'd hang out there once last time before they close for good. Cameron did pull things off shelves and hurl them down the aisle and Sarah Hazel had a million mini whiny fits and started yelling "left" and "right" every time she turned, but they still were being way better than they ever are in public. If there are no tears, no blood (their own or someone elses) , and no nasty comments from others, then we've had a successful trip. One mom did immediately stroll her baby away when she saw Cameron throwing things, not that I blame her. There were also the up and down looks of judgement we are so used too. Sure most parents would have considered my kids undisciplined, wild, weird, and bratty in that moment, but I was seriously happy that they were not having a meltdown. People can stare and judge all they want, we were happy!

Since we had made it through 2 public places without anyone flipping out, I decided it was time to go for the gusto and try one more. Five Guys is another place where the kids tend to do well so I took them there for lunch. There were cups being thrown, lots of standing up in the high chair, loud squeals, but overall it was ANOTHER successful outing. This is a record!

Not wanting to push my luck, I brought them home and put Cameron down for a nap. So far this afternoon I have only been asked one serious question: "why is planet Earth round". Almost a normal day =)

***********************************************************************************
I also want to share with you a post on the SPD Blogger Network about what you can do to help out when you see a child having a sensory meltdown. I did not write the article but I could not agree with her more. Plus, the writer and I both have kids nicknamed Bot!

http://www.spdbloggernetwork.com/2011/08/04/so-then-what-should-i-do/#more-3938

It's okay to talk about Autism!

2011-08-04T10:36:00.000-04:00

This morning in an online Autism forum that I participate in , the question that came up was "What do you want other's to say?". Often times, it does feel like people sidestep around talking Cameron's Autism. I can only assume (and hope) that is simply because people just don't know what to say and have a fear of offending me. Truthfully, it offends me when it's not talked about. Here's why...

Autism consumes a massive portion of my life be it therapy, research, feeding, outings, and just dealing in general with Cameron's behaviors. I can't get away from it. It's not like we wake up and are not going to be affected by it that day. Maybe someday, but not right now. Our choices in the food we buy, the places we go as a family, how we use our time, have all been majorly impacted by Autism. I can no longer comfortably leave the home alone with my two kids except to drop them off at therapy or school. It's just too hard.

I think I speak for most special needs moms when I say, it is ok to talk about our child's disability. I know in my case, I want you to ask questions. Unless you are trying to tell me how to fix my child (people really do this), chances are that you will not offend me if you ask about Autism. It shows you care! Ask me why he flaps his arms when he's excited, why he doesn't really talk, why he's on a special diet. Ask about therapy, ask what certain words are that you are not familiar with, ask what our plans are for the future. Just be sincere.

Afterall, what mama does not want to talk about her kids?!

Why I Let My Son Play With a Dollhouse

2011-08-03T15:28:00.001-04:00

Even my guy's guy of a husband understands this one. A dollhouse opens up a huge realm of pretend play and the use of speech. Simple enough. My little guy puts the figures to bed, rocks and sings to the babies, feeds them, puts them all in their car for a ride, walks them up the stairs. We were highly concerned about his ability to pretend play but he has proven to us, that with toys he loves, he CAN pretend play. He follows commands from me like, "help the Daddy walk through the door" and "let's put the baby to sleep". As he is playing he will say "night, night" and name the objects in the house. We can work on pronouns, verbs, modifiers, plurals, adjectives...all things we are working on in therapy. Look at these pictures....

He is making the mommy figure type on the computer.

Helping Mommy talk on the itty bitty phone.

Now that is what I call success! Cameron 1, Autism 0!

Well that hurt.

2011-08-02T15:19:00.000-04:00

Guess who just happened to be standing under the ceiling when it decided to cave in? Yeah. Me. I took some toys out to the garage and heard a loud snap above me. I looked up and saw a massive chunk of ceiling breaking off fast. I lunged forward but as I did the ceiling hit me right in the back and head and pushed me right into the corner of a wooden desk. Thankfully the ceiling looks a million times worse than I do. That bin hanging down? I'm leaving that for John to figure out. There is no way I'm walking back out there without a hard hat.

Regression

2011-08-01T10:29:00.001-04:00

It started with fever and went downhill from there. I have no idea what the connection is, but every time Cameron has either a really high fever or one lasting more than 24 hours, he regresses. He goes deep into Camland- a world where he lacks sufficient communication and the desire to eat. During a fever, he can barely walk straight and prefers to just sit still in one place. I guess you could say he becomes a bit "drunk" off his fever. This particular fever started last Monday morning and lasted until Wednesday. Sometime Wednesday he did begin to "sober" up but the effects of being in Camland so long, still remain. He was already struggling with sleeping all night post vacation, but now his sleep schedule has deteriorated even more, leaving Cameron and mama worn out. Then there was the waiting room debacle that rocked his world (see post below). Saturday night we went to dinner with my family, but by that point he was spent mentally. Thankfully, John was able to whisk him away before it escalated beyond our control. Just when I thought we were ready to get on the path back to normal, he spiraled into a dark hole after accidentally being fed Fruit Loops and Goldfish crackers during Sunday School yesterday. While it was my fault for not labeling his belongings with some sort of food alert, I was not aware of the switch from saltine crackers to sugar and dye laden Fruit Loops. I hate to be such a hard head on this stuff, but they really should have said they were switching out the snack so that all parents could say yay or nay on the choice. *getting off soapbox now*. I was hoping it would not affect him but sadly, it did. I was not at home with him because I took Sarah Hazel to visit with my cousin, but John said that Cam was unable to regulate himself all afternoon. Everytime John tried to communicate with him, Cam would flip out because he had lost the ability to communicate his wants. When I got home, he was still not communicating very well but he was so happy to see me, that he mellowed out a lot once he got in my arms. Not long after I got there, the post preservative, sugar, dye diarrhea hit and immediately blistered his bottom. No child should ever have to scream from the pain of a diaper change. I cannot get across to everyone just how easily affected he is by dietary changes. The intolerance is real and verified by his pediatrician. The affects are so obvious that she does not even feel that it is necessary to test his IgG levels. He did not sleep well last night (even after a dose of melatonin) but today is a better day. I am determined that he is going to have a great week where he feels good and is not plagued by stomach aches, fear, and over stimulation. That may mean we do not leave the house all week but if that is what it takes to get back on track then so be it. It's easier to stay home than put him through distress anyways!

A Stranger's Acceptance

2011-07-29T12:51:00.000-04:00

This morning I took Cameron to his urologist for a post surgery follow up. As we approached the door to the office, he started pulling away from me and shouting "bye bye bye bye". I scooped him up and walked into a room packed with people all staring at me as I wrangle my crying child who is still yelling "bye bye bye bye". Some people kind of chuckled at his defiance since you know, no one really wants to be at the urologist.

After about 3 minutes, he begins to quieten down and watch cartoons and search for letters in books. There was another little boy probably about 18 months, who kept wanting to play with Cameron and look at the same books. Well, Cameron had already took full possession of The Bible Story book and some man magazine about manly stuff like computer parts and cars and he had no plans in sharing. If he finds happiness in holding those two pieces of reading material then I would prefer that he do so or else the whole waiting room will have to deal with the fit. The other little boy grabbed The Bible Story book from Cameron's hand and Cam freaked, yanked it back and started making a ruckus. The whole waiting room (at least 10 families) are watching this unfold. Cameron was so rough about the whole thing that of course it looked like he was in the wrong even though the other little boy did snatch it from him in the first place. The little boys mom looked at me with that look that said "what are you gonna do about your child taking things from mine". It was not her first dirty look at me so instead of trying to work out a peaceful solution I grabbed Cameron and his hoarded reading stash and sat him on my lap where he would not be bothered by the other little boy.

Finally re-settled I let him down. A different little bitty boy, only 8 months, came over to check Cameron out. Everywhere Cameron ran, the little boy crawled behind him. I began to worry that Cam would step on him, throw a book at him, or worse kick and hit him, so I decided it would be best if I stayed right at their side. I told the mom nicely that I was worried that my little boy would step on her baby but she did not seem to mind the proximity. As the little boy began to get more and more in Cameron's space and become curious about the books, I began to worry a little more. As Cameron became more agitated by the baby being in his space, I told the mom that my little boy can get kind of rough. There's your warning lady, now COME GET YOUR BABY. I can control certain situations but no one can control another persons initial body movements when they snap. I try my best to catch an arm when it raises or break a kick with whatever part of my body is closest to his but no matter how hard I try, I can't stop every reaction he has. Then the inevitable happened. The baby barely touched The Bible Story Book but it was enough to set Cameron off into a rage. In a split second he had already pushed the little baby down face first into the floor. Amazingly the other little boy did not cry but Cameron did. Still, the mom seemed completely unphased that her 8 month old just got slammed into the floor. I held Cameron's flailing screaming body in one and hand while I checked on the baby.

I guess the mom finally decided that did care because she spoke up 5 minutes later. She asked how old Cameron was. When I told her his age, her response was "he must really be having terrible, terrible two's". I don't throw the word Autism out too much in public but it was time since the whole waiting room had been watching the kiddie soap opera and was listening intently to what I would say in response to her comment.

"He has Autism". Then I managed a smile even though I really wanted to cry.

Someday I get so tired of the looks and the comments when he has a rough day. I do my best but I cannot always control how he acts and sometimes you have to let people know that Autism is real and that is what it can look like. Luckily the mom softened...a lot. As did the grandmother beside her. The rest of our time in the waiting room, the other people were staring at Cameron, I'm sure trying to figure him out. I imagine that's how mom's of kids with visible disabilities feel all of the time. Like their kid is on stage being watched and questioned by every passer by. Those are the moms I admire and look to for inspiration.

As we walked back through the lobby after our appointment, the mom and grandmother cheerily and sincerely yelled their goodbyes across the room. Finally, a stranger accepted my little boy, even in one of his roughest moments.

Cameron dreams of toaster pastries jumping into almond milk. I'm sure of it.

2011-07-28T16:09:00.001-04:00

Autistic kids are known to be a little obsessive sometimes. Sometimes those obsessions and fascinations are a little off center, like the phase Cameron went through when he wanted to rub his head across the carpet as he scooted around the room. You really just get used to it and when others are giving you and your kid strange looks, you shrug it off because it's just part of the daily norm. Our normal isn't your normal.

Usually Cameron's obsessions are not disruptive and are easy to deal with. Except food obsessions. I'm not talking about a food jag either. By definnition, a food jag is the obsession with one food but only for a period of time. We're way beyond "a period of time". This kid will fight for what he craves. He will eat nothing for days until he gets the two things he wants.

May I present to you the coveted vanilla almond milk......

and the golden there is no other substitute Brown Sugar Maple Cinnamon toaster pastries. (aka ot-tarts)

Notice, they are bought in bulk. Otherwise a beast is unleashed when his supply runs out. And you cannot fool the kid with another flavor of milk or ~~pop-tart~~ toaster pastry. He knows and he protests until you get so desperate that you will make the long drive to Earth Fare to replenish the stash. The other day he was a little feverish and refusing to eat. In a desperate attempt to get him to put something in his body I offered him his special treat. He held his ~~pop tart~~ toaster pastry for 8 hours. 8 hours! He took it with us in the car to run an errand and he napped with it...twice. He did not want to eat it, but he still needed it in his possession to comfort him. Like I said, our normal is not your normal. =)

Confession: My happy place is a near empty tchotchke shelf.

2011-07-27T13:23:00.004-04:00

So much for Wordless Wednesday. Turns out, I have a few thoughts to write out because I need a break from the madness of my house. When I get flustered with the mess in our house I get angry, bitter, resentful, and just downright mean. John says I'm in "cleaning mode" when I get like that. That's putting it nicely. I have an intense hatred for tchotchkes and piles of paper probably because as a child I thought I had to save every little thing I touched. Eventually that need to hold on to everything became suffocating and I learned the beauty of the phrase less is more. Somehow, despite my less is more mantra, my house is bursting out the seams with stuff and I feel like I have no control over it.

I needed a place of my own. A place I could control 100% of what goes into it...or in this case, doesn't go into it. Let me introduce you to my nearly empty trinket shelf.

I'm not even sure how many years it's been hanging up but that's all that has been on it the whole time. Considering how much I hate anything that must be removed in order for me to dust, it's kind of funny that I would even buy something like this for my home. Kids can't touch it and hubby knows better. He just kind of looks it at laughs at how sadly decorated it is. But it's mine. All mine and it's under control.

Sometimes I get crazy and change up which box each thing is in.

Tell me.....
Do you have a special place in your house or a piece of furniture that is all yours and only yours?

Wordless Wednesday: Ducks

2011-07-27T11:51:00.000-04:00

Dumb it Down or Let Her Soar?

2011-07-25T16:33:00.001-04:00

I finally posted on my Tot School blog today about thinking ahead to the upcoming school year. In case you are wondering what Tot School is and why we do it, please click here. Sarah Hazel LOVES learning so teaching her at home has been easy and fun for both of us and it's something I plan on continuing as long as she wants too.

However, I have ran into a small bump in the road.

God gave my funny little lady the ability to understand concepts above what she should be understanding at her age.

Mix that ability and her curiosity and you have a child who is bored with age appropriate learning materials. I have ran out of preschool level activities for her and she's not even in Pre-K yet.

I have a fear of her going to Kindergarten in 2013 and being bored out of her mind. Then what?

Part of me wonders if I should slow her down on learning so she can learn it with the other kids in elementary school. But a bigger part of me thinks it's wrong to tell a child no when they want to learn things and have the ability to understand the concept, even if it's not always educationally age appropriate. Does that make sense?

Since Sarah Hazel's behavioral evaluation, we have been able to understand her so much more. We stopped trying to dumb things down to her chronological age and have allowed her to explore at a higher level. The changes we have seen in her behavior since then, are astounding. She flourishes on learning.

When I set out to write this post a few minutes ago, my question to you all was whether or not I should slow down the pace at which I allow her to learn things for the sake of not being too ahead in school. However, as I wrote that last paragraph, I think I answered my own question. I cannot and will not hold her back when she has a natural curiousity to learn.

I still want to hear your thoughts even though I answered my own question! What do you think? What would you do in this situation?

I have mixed emotions when it comes to this gifted business. I don't really bring up much on here and I especially do not really talk about it in real life because when I have, the reactions are usually negative instead of encouraging. Friends, it's not all it's cracked up to be so please be nice when commenting.

Pinterest - My newest Addiction

2011-07-24T16:27:00.002-04:00

Maybe you've heard of it? If not, I have a feeling you will start hearing about it more and more over the next year. Pinterest is a virtual pinboard- kind of like an online scrapbook for all the things you love. You can ~~stalk~~ follow other friends on Pinterest to see what they are stashing into their pinboards and if you like what they pinned, you simply repin it onto your board. The best part though, is that you can categorize your pins so they are easy to find later. My boards are full of all the things I love from whale patterned items to crafty inspiration. I also have a recipe board, one for home decor, and another just for places I love in the South, just to name a few. I no longer have to bookmark a page that I may want later for a recipe. Now I can add them all in one spot on Pinterest and easily access the original website just by clicking on the picture I pinned. Easy peasy!

Wanna join me in this fun addiction and start your own Pinterest pinboard? Just go to www.pinterest.com and request an invite or give me your email address and I'll send you an invite. Don't forget to add me as your friend!